Thursday, March 23, 2006

Tongue and Taste

TokKu- It’s difficult to describe the “pedo” taste. When the sambal nasi lemak is well cooked, you have the perfect sambal taste. However, if the “tumissing” is not well done where the cili boh is not well cooked, then your tumis will taste a bit off -hot but not that perfect sambal hotness. That is not the pedas taste but “pedo” taste, namely, the wrong kind of pedas. The same thing may happen to asam pedas. If the tumis “belum naik minyak”, the final dish may not taste nice because it is the “masak asam pedo”. Worse still, if there is more water and insufficient salt in the dish, it is not only pedo but also lecah and ceghoh. May be Chef One can explained how the cooking have gone wrong. As for maung taste, only those staying in Batu Maung, Penang will know the actual taste. One can imagine the rock in that place taste very maung. If you accidentally eat the black ants in the unripe green rambutan, then you will get the full taste of maung. However, the Muang Thai is different from maung taste which can be tried in Patpong in Bangkok.

When you are suffering or recovering from high fever - the high body temperature may burn all your taste buds. Everything tastes bitter. No wonder the sick person is always bitter and cranky and many wish that they get better soon. The bitter taste buds are enhanced by the consumption of lots of bitter pill. That’s why many resort to the technique of swallowing the bitter pills on the rock and don’t put on the tongue to be washed down with water. That’s the case of not “makan ubat” but “telan ubat”. However, once the bitter taste is gone, then you come to the stage of kemaruk - very hefty appetite to eat a lot to compensate for one week of bubur nasi or no food at all.

A person metaphorically has “Taste” if he likes beautiful,classy,pricy expensive things. Some say it is taste that makes one sophisticated. Others argue that it is money that creates taste – with money one can acquire taste. Without money, everything will taste pedo, lecah and tawo heber. Aesthetic vs. economic? If there is economoney (ekau no money), one will be anesthetic. If one have lots of money and have no taste, there are lots of others who can help to spend it – wives, mistresses, children and friends who will help to squander it and find the entire classy, tasteful thing to buy. It needs special taste to enjoy Picasso or it also needs money to buy one. In addition, one can use the company fat accounts to buy Ferdinand Boteros though.

The tongue is a very unique organ and can be very instrumental even for love making. That’s the exotic techniques is not taught in Kamasutra (the Harvard School of lovemaking) which was more preoccupied with strategic positioning. The rouge surface of the tongue and quick movement may transmit the special feeling to the recipient. That’s what is meant by the Australian kiss. This may be practiced more in the hedonistic Western society which gives high priority to satisfying one self. It even occurred in the England Middle Age when King Arthur sent all his knights to war except for Sir Lancelot. To protect the knight wives from extramarital co-curriculum, there were strapped with chastity belts and the beautiful ones were equipped with additional accessories - guillotine. When King Arthur knew about the lecherous activities of Sir Lancelot, he was summoned to the palace. When questioned as to his involvement in seducing all the beautiful ladies, Sir Lancelot just shakes his head and was completely speechless.

On the other hand, there are the exotic French kiss which involved intricate inter tongue twirling and sucking. That’s how the expression “tongue tied” may originate. The tongues are so tied up making them speechless. In Malay, when one goes for soup lidah, it may means that on will actually get the ox tongue soup instead of the ox tail consommé. To the younger generation, tongue soup means French kiss and they love to have “soup lidah” on their dates. I suppose the Australian kiss is known as sup kerang – the clam chowder. However, when lovers quarrel they resort to serious tongue stabbing (bertikam lidah) as opposed to stabbing other things when they are in intimate situation. If I am not mistaken, the fatwa by Sheikh Qardawi stated that it is permissible between legally married husband wife to do so to please one another. That reminds me of the younger days when reading the Juzu Amma there is a diagram of the tongue and you cannot jelir to it ,if not it will cut your tongue. It is actually the diagram of the mouth and tongue all right. But it is a chart to pronounce the Arabic alphabet (makraj) and not the instrument for cutting the tongue. But the thick Melayu accent acquired from eating lots of belacan cannot imitate the Arab makraj or the Queen’s English pronunciation. We have to be satisfied with the present Manglish or Malarab pronunciation.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Luga Hoki vs Hockey League

TokKu – Luga and loya can also be described as that uneasy and funny feeling felt by those who dislike my long comments. Some may get luga and loya reading it and can just skip it. Hope that PokKu don’t get luga and loya and I’ll carry on as a GUBLOG (GUest BLOG). What a goblok I am!! Luga is also the gut feeling of not eating rice. It is as though you have not eaten anything at all. That’s how Malaysian student who goes abroad and live eat potatoes and bread only- until they found the Oriental or Paki shop that sells belacan and Maggie mee. It is not only physically hungry but psychologically hungry too. On the other hand, when you eat sweet things (manis letin) with empty stomach – followed a pang of pain in the stomach that poke your heart’s corner (tikam sudut hati). One may need to look for the toilet urgently before splattering in all directions. This is different from eating hot stuff – like sambal ikan bilis nasi lemak which give the stomach ache of gastric feelings. Obviously, all the hot chilies were in active chemical reaction with the intestinal lines. If left unattended, it may lead to ulcers which start as stabbing pain in the stomach and during the expulsion down below. This feeling is well described in the minute details by Shanon Ahmad in his infamous thick novel – SHIT. Be careful, it may even lead to piles or even colon cancer. That’s the fatal attraction of the hot stuff like sambal or lemak chili api or asam pedas to the gastric sufferers... It is like suffering from food poisoning – uneasy, painful with active bacteria multiplying. That’s what one term as the pain in the Ar____. So, luga can also be described as the twirling feeling in the stomach. When it is pushed to the throat, it become loya (pronounced as lawyer) – the feeling of throwing up or vomit. Loya also occurs at the early stage of pregnancy when the body chemistry is trying to adjust to early developing fetus. This form of luga or loya is not the case of eating the wrong food. But it is the case of the intake of the right protein which leads to luga in the stomach and loya in the throat. This is the sickness what the traditional Malays termed as “penyakit orang buat”.
Once upon a time, hockey was the only Olympic game that Malaysia used to excel – one of the top seven nations of the Hockey world. Malaysia once played against Holland in the quarter final in the World Cup on the CEB hockey field at Bangsar. Malaysia should put more efforts in the sporting events where Malaysia is of standing. Don’t put resources and efforts in promoting the Japanese Sumo wrestling. Or in other sports like football where we came behind Vietnam. And now hockey is fast following football – we are at the Nigerian’s behind. Many will agree that it will not be long when Malaysia will even loose to South Korea in sepak takraw. The Korean will excel in sepak takraw if they apply the Samul Undung spirit to sports as they have done to Samsung electronic goods. Badminton is bad and may not turn to Malaysia favour in future. Malaysia hockey for man had become the sport of the village champions ( jaguh kampung ) as once called to badminton. Malaysia Boleh - in this case it is Malaysia Boleh Kalah !!
Lots of rules in the hockey games have changed. The throw in is replaced by the hit in, the short corner is renamed penalty corner need not be too stopped by the hand. The swing and back stick rules are different. This is to speed the game instead of always giving the advantage by the referees. The hockey stick is also different. The curl at the end of the stick is smaller – more like jambu golok seeds. Remember the famous teka teki : buah apa , biji nya diluar .Besides, jambu golok which is single seeded, there is another buah which is double seeded…...guess what?) Last time , the hockey stick was like the sabit rumput shape. Now, the goal keeper is well dressed up – in fact overdressed. The face mask, the breast pad, the leg/shin guard, and the big hand gloves and of course the unforgettable vital accessories the B - Guard ( B for Balls) .. This guard is neccesary to prevent the hockey ball from joining with the goalkeeper’s balls. Or to prevent the attacker’s hockey sticks from joining the goalkeeper’s stick. As for the ladies , they also wear this guard which should called the V – Guard (V for ?) In the past, it was the goalkeeper who was scared of the opponent’s penalty corner swing, balls and sticks . Nowadays, the goalkeepers are clad in Japanese Shogun warrior armory and it is the attackers who are scared of the goalkeeper- who can swing / slam the hockey stick, slap with his big gloves and head on collision with his helmet and faced guard. The body plus head on collusion will do much damage to the forward line of the other team. As to the names, the Malay/Muslim ( male or female ) without the family name or surname will have problem in oral or written form. So, the father’s name is assumed as the surname and one is called by that name irrespective of the sex. Cik Fatimah binti Jantan will be addressed as Miss Jantan even though she is a perempuan. When traveling abroad, one is very apprehensive to put the family name in the immigration card since it come with a Bin. Mr. Ahmad Wok Lodin will have the surname of Bin Wok Lodin which may be mistaken for Bin Ladin. As to the given names or Christian names, they are also apprehensive to put the Arab name – like Osama, Aiman, which may attract the Immigration , Customs and even the Quarantine – who looked at you as a plant !! As to the hockey team , they should stick to the name at the back of the jersey – if not, they should be given a name tack as a common practice in Malaysia and the commentator

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The C words..cattok,cokkeng,etc.

Tok Ku – This is a very late response to your call to elaborate on your range of Trengganuspeak C’s words…….. better late than never and it is now or never. The word “cekek” and “cokek” refer to the action by the fingers /hand. Cekek pronounced with sabdu in Trengganuspeak (ce’kek) is to strangle and tercekek is equivalent to being “choked”. Cokek is to poke with your index fingers on to a friend’s stomach so as to induce spontaneous uncontrollable verbal diarrhea (melatah). Cekok (cekak) is to hold a handful – e.g. cekok rambut is to hold a “handful” of hair to be tied into pony tail. Traditionally, it is done by females but nowadays, this unique skill has been acquired by men with long hair. Vegetables were once sold in this measure – se cekok pucuk paku, se cekok pucuk ubi kayu. Cekok pinggang is an action of putting both hands on the hip when one acts bossily or angry. When the “fox choke your neck”, it is not that you’re being attacked and strangle by the fox. It is more of a foxy fashion neck collar “ cekok musang“ - hard high collar version of baju melayu as compared top the soft version leher penyu ( turtle neck). On the other hand, some one may “cekok” your neck because he is “mussang” type. Mussang here means hot tempered /short fused and definitely not foxy, itchified or lecherous type. Cakkong (changkong) is to squat like the ngokrong position. A good example is the recent “naked squatting” in the police station (cakong telanjang bulat). When she cakong (doing the ketuk ketampi), there are many “bulat” and “cattok” things moving too which tempted one policeman to take the video shot. Of course, there are many other hand-related actions by man/woman which may not be appropriately discussed here (censored)
Cokeng is not the process of making coal or mixing the coca cola drink with the secret recipe. But it often refers to elongated object that is elevated from the drooping position to an upright angle and stays there. The angle of the lift (degree of cokeng) can be referred to the vertical clock face, i.e., it goes from 6 o’clock position not only to 3 o’clock but up to 1 o’clock. In medical check up procedure, this angle of elevation is important in determining whether one is impotent. Cekoh (cekah) is the action of gripping with your fingers in attempting to open up things. You can cekoh durian – pressing down and hard on the durian apartments (pangsa). So, cekoh durian and kopek durian are similar. But when one tries to “cekoh kopek”, it is a different action on different object with different intention altogether. When doing it, it is to cekoh but when it is readily in the opened up position as a result of sitting posture, it becomes cekkeh (cengkeh) due to the shape of things. So , the Malay girls/women are advised to sit properly so that it won’t result in the cekkeh position. Therefore, never make the mistake of saying the wrong thing at the wrong person at the wrong time such as to “cekok kopek” or to “cekok cekkeh”! . If not, it may lead to someone to cekoh bedil (to cock the gun) to shoot you instead of just cekok your collar or cekkek your neck.

Besides “cattok”, there are many adjectives to describe the shape and stage of the female bosom . Cotek is in very small shape and at the initial female puberty stage. Before the cotek, it is very flat and termed as leper macam papan or termed sophisticatedly as the aircraft carrier. At this stage, one can still can use the traditional kampong bra ( female singlet ) which is worn by the young ones ( initially no assets) as well as by the old ones ( depleting assets). Some may try to make this mole into a hill by using lots of padding in the bra. But to some, “small is beautiful” – remember the model Twiggy? The traditional Japanese culture believed that “flat is beautiful’. So , the geishas wrapped it up in yards of kimono cloth to flatten them. However, the Japanese culture and taste are changing now as shown in the unwrapped Japanese models with big Fujiyama Mountains. The degree of “cattok” usually increased with maturity . With the ripe age plus the genetic inheritance, it will slowly increase even to the level of bursting out i.e. Dolly Patton type. The mid valley region ( cleavage) can be very appealing to men. In the Middle Ages , it was deliberately made to pop out of the corset like balloons. In the KL Mid Valley Shopping Complex, the men will have a good time window shopping those mid valleys of those wearing low neckline. So , it is not right to say only women like to window shop at Mid Valley – men also window shop at those mid valleys there. By the way , if one is planning to establish a breast lifting plastic surgery clinic, the advertisement should read as “ Kecattokan Payudara adalah Kecantikan Wanita”. The near cousin word is “macung” ( mancung) but it refers to the nose ( hidung macung) or teeth ( gigi macung @ jongang). There are those with initially small assets or those with the depleting assets who frequent the beauty saloon / health clinics to get the breast massage to enhance its size and firmness. But the actual idiom to “massage the breast” (urut dada) means “to calm one self down”. When one is excited or scared , the heartbeat will increase and to reduce it to 120/80 , one may physically “urut dada” . Furthermore, “mengurut dada” means differently from “mengurat duda” especially the ones with titles, money and looks - even though they are in the late 40’s, 50’s or even 60’s.

Monday, March 06, 2006

BioFuel (Bahanapi Biol?)

TokKu – The price of petroleum has increased by 30 sen only. Mujur, it is not by 30% or 30 US or Euro cents. Gone are the days of full subsidies and low prices of only 70 sen for the diesel. So, we better get use to it since we cannot rely on the depleting fossil fuel and depleting subsidies anymore. Many are still clinging to the argument that since petroleum is produced locally, the citizen should get it at cost or staff price. But the companies’ profits and corporate tax forgone are too much to be missed. The country needs the money for development or for settling the commitments. The increase of over One Billion Ringgit per month pocket money should be closely monitored. As in the case of our children, the additional pocket money should not go to the purchase of cigarettes, pornographic material or worse still, for buying drugs. The same principle should also apply. That the cutting of this subsidy should not cross subsidized other unnecessary projects since many with get cross which eventually may affect their future crossing.
The reduction of the subsidy is the initial step taken in facing the reality of fueling the Malaysian future. We have only 17 more years of fossil fuel reserve and so far no major oil strike. After that, we have will become the net importer of petroleum at high price. Where will Petronas be than? Will it be like MAS? It may not be able to fly high financially like the Ayamas but has to fly low like the ayam hutan (Ayam Hutang?). One way of catching these “wild fowl” in the oil palm plantation is done by using the net (jala) and by ensuring that no wild or foul expenditures being incurred.
The chain of events expected to occur is the subsequent inevitable increase in prices of other things – including those that are remotely related to petroleum. (The price of massage by female masseur had increased by 30% since it is petroleum based massage oil!) The main logic of the trades is that every thing should increase by 30 sen or 30% per unit – irrespective of its transport cost components. It is easier, a more cleverer and profitable way to calculate. However, it should not be done now when everyone is watching closely on this issue. It should be done by the “Salami Approach”, namely, gradually, slice by slice, five sen by five sen so that nobody will notice or feel it. As the proverb says, “An inch a day, will not keep the customers away.”
There was so much talk about biofuel or in Bahasa Malaysia; it can be transliterated as “Bahanapi Biol”. We have lots of cheap palm oil but it was not economically viable to be used as biofuel when the price of petroleum was below US$ 28 per barrel. It was appropriately then sold at higher price for food and not for fuel. But now with petroleum hiking to US$ 63.63 per barrel, we should go into palm biofuel. Some announcements were made here and there but nothing concrete materialized. Palm biofuel can be made by converting the palm oil to diesel. Alternatively, the plain cooking oil can be blended into diesel to run diesel engines. With the high price of petroleum diesel, lots of people in Europe or US are using UFO vehicles for traveling (UFO = Used Frying Oil). However, in Malaysia, this UFO has to compete with yong taufu makers, the pasar malam traders and poultry /pig farmers. Malaysia has 17.5 millions of tonnes of palm oil supply per year as compared to only 10 million tonnes of diesel consumed per year. So, palm oil can do a lot to supplement the diesel use. Palm oil can also produce “alcohol material” from its sap to produce gasohol like Brazil. You can see that alcohol was fueling the vehicles in Brazil as much as it fuels the population (especially during the Mardi gras dancing and sambas at the Copacabana beach.) Fortunately, this palm vine industry did not develop in Malaysia. If it were to develop here, there will cases of Mardi Gras and Samba in palm plantation, besides the recent night clubs, prostitution and gambling and cock fighting in the midst of oil palm plantation. The rural urban migration can be reversed as there will be more attraction in the rural areas in the dark night as compared to the urban bright lights.
So this new biodiesel which is Environmental friendly Vegetable Oil origin should be called as ECODIESEL or ENVODIESEL. Ask the VVVIP to launch and endorse it. Use it for government vehicles as it is done in the US. Every body will get hooked on it instead of fully addicted on the fossil fuel. So , instead of only the diesel brand of the Seven sisters such as Shell, Esso, B.P, Petronas etc, there will be palm biofuel Cap Buruh, Cap Pisau , Cap Helang , etc. like the shelf of supermarket. The advertisement of F1 Racing Cars will be Minyak Cap Buruh or Minyak Cap Helang. The unsubsidized market price of diesel is RM 2.20 per liter as compared to RM 1.50 per liter of “ Refined, Bleached, Deodorized and Double Fractionated Palm Olein @ Cooking Oil”. The exhausts of the diesel vehicles will smell like the smokes of grilling the satay... Perhaps, the palm biofuel blend should include a bit of lemon grass and onion (serai and bawang) so that when you’re caught tin a traffic jam, it will be the smell of Satay Kajang. That’s the solution to the issue of fuelling the Malaysian future.