Monday, February 27, 2006

Warna Colour

TokKu – Your curiosity on the particular colour “virgin yellow” of Proton Saga brings our attention to one nick from Trengganu. He is more of orang Kelumpur now staying a stone throw away from Rasta where we had the last gathering. He can be seen more often at Masjid Attaqwa of TTDI. I still remember his Peugeot car with the number plate of WNI – Wan Nik Ismail. His official car was the elongated proton which looked like two cut proton cars ( proton potong) being welded together ( which may not passed the Puspakom now.) His early days were involved in serving as Dungun’s DO and the General Manager of Ketengah. He had served and contributed a lot to Trengganu and to the country. So, we cannot make fun of him since he may sue us for libel and slender. I hope my grand uncle will not send such a registered letter from his legal firm.
My mum sewed baju Melayu for hari raya. She liked the green colour and the baju will always be the shades of green- Ija pucuk pisang, ija pala itek/ija lalat ija, Ija Pati Pah, Ija Petronas. Nowadays, the colour often becomes the theme of the wedding reception. Everything in the hall / hotel is green even the drink (look like like Fanta drink ) Every body wears the same colour to look like Boria team or Dikir Barat Group. It would be better if everyone were to wear all the shades of greens, it is more colourful. The colour black will be referred to the Wok Bottom Black (hitam patat kuali). One has to wear the all black baju melayu for the investiture function except for one State which allowed the wearing all other colours but not the royal sedondon. So, don’t don’t wear baju sedondon or one may not be allowed into the balirong and the medal will be posted to you.
Merah jambu is also known as merah samar. Samar /samor also means blur. So, there is the blur trap (Jerangkap Samar) which is the booby trap which is different from the trap for the boobs. Water apple or jambu has a different meaning in certain boy’s residential college (as kodok means different thing in certain girl’s residential college). The jambu had evolved into from the Prophet Lot’s lot, to the queer to the homos and now to the gay. These jambu boys are often much sought after for the annual concerts and dramas in the boy’s school /residential college to play the role of the girls. One cannot imagine of the Thai jambus where some are even more beautiful than the real ,original female . When they felt that the beauty contest is unfair judged, instead of pulling hairs, they will punch up like the Muang Thai Siamese boxing. Some said that they are also very hot since they take lots of Tom Yam Kung.( That’s what I heard but never ever experienced)
Many Malay children don’t know the Malay term for the colour “orange”. The younger generation will just call it “oren” but actually, it is “jingga.” So, the next time the waitress asked ”nak minum apa?” - You should ask for “Air Jingga Segar”. If it is not available, then ask for “ Carambola Juice” or for the “Stoned Water Apple Juice”. One doesn’t have to “mencarut” ( talk vulgarly) when asking for “carrot juice”( air carut) if it is called “air lobak jingga.” The other colour is purple/lilac which the younger generation will call it "perpel" but it is actually “ungu” in Malay . If you don’t know how to pronounce it, this word doesn’t rhyme with Cik Gu but it rhymes with dungu, (stupid). Earlier, I was wondering why mangosteen is not allowed in hotels since it has not offensive smell. Later, I realized that it has an offensive “colour” especially when it stained the white sheet into Dunhill red. The natural purple colour is from the kamunting fruits or the senduduk flower. The best Malay pantuns used creatively the local fruits and colours as their shadow clauses. The best pantun should rhyme in every corresponding syllable , words and sentences. The modern pantun just rhyme at the end of the sentence ONLY. How I wish the local hip hopper and the rappers can create such rhymed lyrics. It is a challenge to Too Phat (Terlalu Gemuk or Very Cool) to compose Malay rap songs in that manner instead of just sounding the same at the end of the sentence . The Melaka State Government had recently launched the One Million Pantuns Project and it should also take note of it. Here is an example of a good Malay pantun which should be rightly called a pantun. If it does not meet this specification and only rhyme at the end , it is not a pantun but should be called just as “puntung” as the case of “puntung rokok” ( all the filtered cigarette butts are the same !! ) . On the other hand , if it rhyme partly , it should be called a “pontoon” which floats as a bridge but not a real bridge.
Bu-ah lang-sat ku-ning men-ce-lah
Sen-duduk ti-dak ber-bu-nga la-gi
Su-dah da-pat ga-ding ber-tu-ah
Tan-duk ti-dak ber-gu-na la-gi
The colour blue and yellow have different cultural context. . The European royalty and aristocracy will be from the blue blood but the Malay will be from yellow blood. Only Mahsuri from Langkawi has white blood – may be she was suffering from leukemia when she was stabbed. One the other hand , the colour blue when attached to a film is related to the yellow culture and the premier show is in the Red light area. When there is a blue car behind your kampung house, it does not mean you’re well off but a lazy bump, since the belukar ( secondary jungle) is not cleared. . So much so, until “ada ulau berlengkau dalam belukau.” as expressed in the Melaka pantun.
What is brown ? The skin colour of the Malay is described as sawo matang ( ripen ciku fruit). Some have off white/ yellowish skin or kuning langsat (dukung yellow). Others especially in the coastal area like “Stone Raft” are rather dark as “Wok Bottom Darkness” patat kuali. However, there are the white people –orang putih (omputih) Mat Salleh or in other State known as Orang Balau or orang bule (Indonesian). In Indonesia, they don’t plant pokok koko but they planted pokok coklat and pokok karet. ( Getah). In the sixties, a sexy and voluptuous lady was described as “bergetah” - which in Indonesian , it should be “berkaret” (rusty). It kept one wondering which part of the lady is “bergetah “and which part is “berkaret”? The old Malay word for brown was perang ( pronounced as “pair” + “rung”) and that’s was before koko were introduced in Banting ( Selangor) and Sungai Tong (Trengganu) . Perang when pronounced as “ purr +rung“ is war and that’s when the bring out their parang panjang in the olden days. It will end when one party put up the bendera putih ( white flag). There is one colour which is known as the “wiped out red” - merah padam. That is when one is very angry or blushing . We don’t like to be in the red in our account ( akaun merah) and after a long outstation trip, the husband would be frustrated if the wife put up the red flag ( bendera jepun).
What are the colour of the rainbow? Most of us can still remember them as VIBGYOR or as Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain or Ring Out Your Grandmother Boots In Vinegar, i.e., Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo Violet.. Sometimes, in his Blog Tok Ku really “ showed his colour” on certain issue. But in malay language , we don’t say Tok Ku “tunjuk warna” but tunjuk belang nya ( show his stripes) excluding his nose which is not stripped (hidung belang) but rather beautiful and sharp like hidung belalang.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Well Oh Well

TokKu- Trengganu is well economically, being well endowed with many oil wells. The Duyung well as well as the oil well in Tapis area perform very well for Trengganu. This wealth from the sea oil wells should improve the well beings the people on the land. Unfortunately, all was not that well for a while with the confusion of the status of the well’s output - royalty or ehsan? All that is well ends well. The main concern should the well being of the people so that they are well looked after and don’t have to go back to drawing water from the well. The endowed wealth is God’s ehsan to mankind, not so be squandered elsewhere or else well. Usually, the waiter/captain /Chef will always ask, how do you like your steak? Rare, Medium or Well Done? Well, I always like it Medium Well (between medium and well done) If it is Rare or Medium, you can see the red blooded uncooked core. If it is well done, you can see the black overcooked hard meat. However, if there are so many customers that day, your steak will be late and you can safely assumed that your steak is not done yet or even left “undone”. The Chef should make sure that the steak is done - immaterial if it is tartar, rare, medium or well done or very well done. The population of this state don’t want the steak (daging panggang) with black pepper sauce but sufficient for them to have good ikang panggang cicoh black anchovy sauce (@ budu) ….sedap makang sokmo.

If you have the chance to go to the old market gardening plot at the outskirt of your town, there is a special well where the organic fertilizer is kept. (Remember the Geography book by GED Lewis– Ah Chong the market gardener in KL). Its location is difficult to spot since this well is usually well covered. However, the spot which is well swarmed with flies will indicate where it is. However, there is not many of such market gardening anymore now except in some specialized organic farming which used the organic fertilizer. I don’t like the modern chemical fertilizer which has the pesticide residues but upon recalling the organic fertilizer well, I still prefer the vegetable using the chemical fertilizer. There is also the Blind Well (telaga buta.) which is a dry well. The water usually comes from the water eyes (mata air) which dripped out like the watery eyes. I suppose, the water eyes had gone blind – thus the blind well. There is the Telaga Batin which is near to the Trengganu airport. The well may be full of water, wet or very dry depending of the season of the month. Be careful with those with dry telaga batin which may be very closely related to the tenaga batin. In addition, there is the wishing well is where you can throw money and make your wish as well. If you go to Melaka, use to see at Hang Tuah’s well and Hang Lipo well and even the semi pro divers by the well side. You can ask these divers how are they and they will answer “I am in the well” which is in this case literally and grammatically correct.

There is an interesting activity known as “menimba ikan” where a water body is blocked and the water is being drawn out with the use of buckets. Finally, when the water is fully drained, the fish are left to swim in the mud ( bernafas dalam lumpur) without water and those who are participating in the menimba will share the fish- puyu, keli , haruan and even the small ikang karrin & ikang sekila. One goes to the institutions of higher learning to “menimba ilmu”- to bail the knowledge. At the end, one may obtain the rounded keli or haruan fish like thing called the scroll. Nowadays, one will also get a piece of a note “You owed the IPTN RM 50,000 “. However, with the present standard of English in Malaysia, one may misread it as “You owned IPTN RM 50,000”. If the blocked water body is located below a big tree, one will get all those dry leaves instead of the fish. With all the efforts of menimba ilmu (as in menimba ikan), one get a few small ikang puyu at the end of it-not enough to be fried for your lunch. At the end, you will get small paying self employed job (a graduate burger seller at the road side) or no job at all. Are Malaysian graduates too choosy? If it happened to you or your children or your grandchildren after a relatively expensive education, will you want to sell goreng pisang at the road side? The highest category of unemployed graduates are the qualified and very “high–tech” graduates, namely, those who are doing the IT or lately ICT.

One favourite subject taught in the primary school of the yesteryears was Hygiene. (It is more advance today since modern subjects such sex education and oral hygiene is taught but many get mixed up between the two). The ground well should not be located at the lower slope or lower water level than the kampung toilet (jamban curah). The jamban curah is one stage of progress from the “jamban raya” which rotated from bush to bush or from one favourite spot to another spot on the beach. If the ground well is on the upper slope, the content of the human waste will seep though into the well. One may argue that it will be filtered by the soil. But when there is a heavy rain, the water just flow into the well. Usually, the well water do not taste that good after a heavy rain or flood. The use of jamban curah will require one have to bring a bucket / “timba” along or alternatively, there is a ready bucket by your side. Don’t ever kick the bucket or else you have to walk to the well, draw (kara) the water and bring it back to the toilet for the wash up. If the hole is too big, there are cases of people who fell down into the hole and kick the bucket. This toilet with a ground hole is the ideal dream of the golfers – every swing or terang (which should not be translated as “bright”) will always get “a hole in one”. If you are having stomach ache, it will be a bogey or double bogey as in the case of the urban public toilets nowadays. That’s the problem with the urbanites using the urban public toilets (Jambandar = Jamban + Bandar) They cannot aim well and never get a whole in one. They never get a hole in one and like bowling; they never get a spare or a strike but leave behind well splattered all over the bowl.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Spell vs Sound

Tok Ku- To pronounce certain foreign words based on its spelling may be difficult. For a new English student, it is much easier to pronounce the Pidgin English of Papua Niugini. At least, they pronounce what they spell. Wi ken si en rid it es it is riten. Izy to pronoun en not difikut en wi ar orait. The French spelling and pronunciation are usually doing not coincide. They spell and pronounced differently. So you have to have a good French teacher to be able to pronounce what is written in French. They say it is better to have a lady Mademoiselle – because you can follow her tongue movements with your own tongue in learning to pronounce during the French lesson. I once took a train to a destination spelt as Angier- asking for a train ticket to “ ang – jeers”. She did not know that place. Finally, she told me that it is not “ ang –jers” but “ Ong – Zey”. When asked for a ticket to Bordeaux, I was very offended when the ticket seller tells ma that I am “ Bodoooh”. I get my biyet (Billet) anyway. The famous main road in central Paris is Champs d Elysees and many pronounced it as “Chemp di El Leici” – sounding like someone in the Guinness Book of Records as the “Champions for Eating the Arabian (El) Laichees.( as opposed to the Singaporean Lychees.) The French teacher told me that it sound like " shon di eli zey" .

The French like to spell with extra alphabets but does not sound it . Louis is pronounced as Lui as in Sungai Lui. When one go to Petronas Philomonic Orchestra tolisten to Chopin , they are not going shopping . They are going to listen to some Show Fun music which rhyme with the Chinese “Sek Fan” – to eat rice. Those in Perak will be able to pronounce Paris properly which is pronounced like those living Bote Kanan as “ Pa-ghee” or by the fishermen in Seberang Takir can pronounce the name of the sting ray fish – Pari. The be-day (bidet) which is fixed to the bowl is used for easy washing of the intricate anatomy. I suppose why it is called bidet since once have to really aim ( bidik) the water to the right part or if not, it will splash all over you. However, toilet should not pronounced in French – toy ley , it should be pronounced as it is . Toy–Let . As in the case of a small toy is toilet, a small book is booklet and a small Singh is singlet. The toilet in KLCC is very expensive costing RM 2.00 per piss and if no one uses it , sooner they have to put a sign “ VIP Toilet To Let”.

Then there is the branded products. Many Like to wear branded well like “ Lan – Vin” but the original French is “ Lan – Varrng” . Double “ LL” is pronounced as Y like papiyon ( Papillon), biyet ( billet). Therefore, some Japanese products may be difficult to identify. For example, “llamaha” should not be mistaken for the four legged animals of the Andes but it is a motorcycle. Mount Fullillama is in Japan and should not be mistaken for Klang Lama. The Spanish has also different pronunciation for different letter. The incidence of the kidnapping Sabah was near the island of Holo (Jolo). Hose ( Jose) is a popular Spanish name .( the water hose invented by Senior Hose ). Havana is the capital of Cuba but Havanese are the inhabitants the island of Java in Indonesia. Mexico is pronounced as Mehico. I suppose, Taxi is pronounced as “tehi” ( similar to the Hindustani “nehi” which make it sound like tahi in the East Coast of Malaysia. ).

There are also problems in sounding Malay words of Arabic origin. Zain Azraai which is mispronunciation of Azraaei . We don’t pronounce the name of the former Minister as Datuk Sha-fi-aai Mohd Salleh – but Datuk Sha-fe-i. . When you do the tasbih , the word subbha nallah have to be properly pronounced. When pronounced in a hurry, it becomes sabaha nallah where sabaha means “swim” ,thus, sabahnallah may mean a different thing altogether. To say that your beautiful girl is your “ idaman kalbu” may not mean “ what your heart desire” (idaman qalbu) but “what the dog desire”. In the Russian currency, the cents is known as kopeks . So, if you are in Moscow, you have no money ( ruble) but only a few Russian cents – then, you have your last “kopek” . But you can split open your durian in Perak – kopek durian. But never ask the lady durian seller that you want her to kopek. You will be big in trouble. However, if she has very big assets , she may only smile since she knows that many cannot resist that !

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Damned & Marked

Tok Ku – It was a case of delayed action. This issue was on since September 30, 2005. (Jylland Posten may be inspired by the anniversary of the second week of the month of September). The reaction was only month’s later and some countries were fast to reprint the cartoons (including local newspaper, i.e., Syllawaland Posten ) . However, the issue was “something rotten” which earlier wrapped in the Danish butter croissant by the “French kisser” or embedded in the smelly Danish cheese as verified by the “Australian Kisser”. Malaysia was then in the festive holiday mood concentrating on the heavy traffic jams on the highways. The khatib did not take up in the khutbah since the text was prepared weeks earlier and the sermon cannot be delivered impromptu. The Danish were also celebrating the national orgy on this issue then which can be seen in the danish pornos where they also wish one another “Kongsi F.…k Joy”.
The Vikings ancestors have two horns. Perhaps, they were depicting the human version of the upright walking creature with two horns. So, what can we expect from the two horns? Naturally, they should behave in that way and if not, we should be surprised. The two horned creature was “damned” and “marked” until the Hereafter and that’s how the name of the country is derived – the country of the Damned and Marked i.e. Damn-mark. So, the moral of the story is that we don’t imitate or behave like the two horned creature or think like a Jylland Posten cartoon editor, Mr. Donald Dane. He apologized for hurting the feeling but defended his freedom to print it. That’s double talk which may sound like an apology but actually it was more of a double insult. The only thing, the Damn Mark people know on good Press Release is in their porno film where they pressed and then they released coitus interruptusly. They are very good, very professional and the world’s best in porno film production besides in drawing caricatures.
This issue is escalating. This Damn Mark newspaper had rejected or censored the publication of the Christ cartoons showed their true spirit of Press Freedom The Iran newspaper, Hamshari, is having a contest to depict the Holocaust as to how the European treats the Jews.. Human being will have full of initiatives and creativity indeed in inciting and reacting hatred and anger. (This comment itself is a good example !! ) So, it should be treated with extreme care. Damn-Mark was among the liberal countries which practiced very liberally the freedom to press each other. You said it correctly “ Think for a moment that the cartoonists live in a very "liberal" country. They might not know who their father is and there is no one to tell them what good taste is.” Let’s keep religion as the ideology of peace and not to be downgraded to the level of Damn - Mark’s press freedom ideology of piss.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Instant Delay

TokKu – What’s the hurry? Sooner or later, Derumo will definitely comment. Wat’s the hari? Today is Monday, unless you’re on the International Date Line. I remember a teacher who explained the concept of International Date Line. You can jump from one side to the other of the dateline in the Pacific Ocean to perform the Monday–Tuesday dance. So, there is no hurry as in the proverb – “slow and steady, you will win the race” as in the case of the turtle and the rabbit. However, as the same teacher warned that if you are too slow, you won’t make it!!
We always want something instant. That’s how we get the instant noodles – Maggie Mee “Cepat dimasak sedap dimakan”. We perform some good or bad deeds want to see the result immediately, momentarily, instantly. From the religious point of view, we have to wait for the Hereafter. Well, it is some sort of insurance or futures trading. If there is the Hereafter, those who took this insurance or futures options (doing good religious deeds) will get the endowment or payment then. Even if there is no such things as hereafter as the agnostic atheist believed, one still had lead a good and calm life in the world. On the other hand, those who don’t subscribe to this Hereafter insurance premium or commodity or currency futures trading, they will be in deep shit if there is the Hereafter.
What other instant things? Instant girlfriend – look for social escorts agencies. Instant wife – there is an old age profession in this field. But it had become more sophisticated nowadays. And of course, one can get instant VD's, CD's, DVD’s or AIDS and however, not an instant death but a prolonged suffering physically and mentally. Many younger generations are also doing the instant marriage followed by instant divorce. They take the holy matrimony as on trial basis – till the end of honeymoon, we do part after the parents spend thousands of Ringgits for the whole ceremony at the top 5 Star hotel. The philosophy is when one faces a problem, run away immediately. Corollary, when one feel the itch, it should be scratched immediately for instant gratification. That seems to be the philosophy of many easy going new generations. If the ears are itching, there is the ear digger or the cotton buds. If you back is itchy which is unscratchable, you can ask other to scratch your back. There is the Malay belief that if your palm is itchy , there is some money coming your way . However, in the modern days, they pour heavy grease on the itching palm – thus, the term greasing the palm and everything moves smoothly. One feel very disappointed , if some one scratch your un-itchy car since you have to pay a lot to repaint it. And of course, the famous Japanese lady spies in Malaya before the Second World War, Miss Itchybawah to whom many Malayan were patronizing then. Those with itchy tongue may be slashed verbally but the latest trend was many get slashed “parangly”. Even the youngsters nowadays like to scratch – they buy the prepaid and scratch for the code number. The “scratch and win” is an instant lottery which replaced the old “tikam“ small gambling and most of the time is “tikam and loose” . However, if your eyes is itchy , don’t twitch it in front of other ladies or you‘ll be accused of “mengorat” them in the old fashion way.
The old philosophy is to “cari makan”,that is, to earn first, save some and then consume. On the other hand, there is the widespread philosophy of “makan gaji”. You “makan” (consume) first and then get you “gaji”(wages/salary) to pay them with nothing left to save. It is the concept of living on credit and bank’s OD. However, in this new plastic card age– we are encouraged to consume on credit. The rafting upstream so that one can row downstream easily with the tide seems not applicable anymore. There is always walletful of “credit cards” available and before the bank bring you to the “credit courts” which declare you independent of all the assets. Those who go to Chettiar or Along will have to bear along a higher risk. Sometimes , the along’s bouncer will bounce the insolvent borrower like a basket ball. Another form of credit are things bought on hire purchase. On paying the down payment, the car is hired until the down payment fully utilized. After that come the “chase” by the “kereta tarik” who will not leave you even though you try to belanja them “teh tarik “. Don’t be surprise that they will take you car and leave you in the panas terik ( hot sun). Kereta tarik, the tarik and panas terik are all bad for you and so , don’t play ,and play with them.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Viking Hijrah

TokKu- The Chinese New Year is more popularly known as “Hari Raya Cina” and not so much as the tahun baru . So, it is related to the Festive days and not so much the New Year - rightly or wrongly. When it falls together with the raya Melayu, it becomes Kongsi Raya and not kongsi tahun baru. The practice of ang pow of the Raya Cina is similar to duit raya in the green packet. So , when the Muslim new year come , it is not associated with the Chinese new year at all.. Based on the lunar calculation , it somewhat coincide with Maal Hijrah this year. So the Cap Goh Meng will coincide with Hari Asyurah. So, we will have the Moon Cake and sticky kuih ketupat ( kuih abu) and bubur asyurah .That’s how rich our Malaysian culture is!!

The word awal muharram reflects the original concept . First January is awal January of the new year. However, I am wondering how it becomes maal hijrah “With Hijrah “. I prefer to stick the awal muharam. The popular SMS is “wishing you 12 months of sakinah , 52 weeks of barakah, 365 days of Iman , 8760 hours of good ibadah ,5256000 minutes of qanaah, 31536000 seconds of taqwa …..

Of course , there is no count down at Dataran Merdeka or Twin Towers. But there is a count down at the mosque where the group will recite the Yassin and do a bit of Tahalil . Every one is counting down that they have spent a year of their life ( beribadah or bermaksiat) and is getting one year nearer to the onky certainty in life – death. It should be interesting to note that Prophet Muhammad died at the age of 63. Every Muslims will be using this benchmark. Of course, some die earlier and some have bonus to go over that age. However, we should remember that the age was calculated according to the Muslim calendar year which is lesser than the Gregorian calendar . So , Prophet Muhammad died at below 60 years by the count of Gregorian calendar. However, the bonus years should be filled with full Ibadah Let’s pray lengthen their life and increased the ibdadah…

The Muslim calendar year did not coincide with one’s age accounting year for the good and bad deeds. The individual accounting year is from Mid Syaaban to the next Mid Syaaban . The record is closed on 15 syaaban ( nisfu = half , Ahmad Nisfu = Ahmad Setengah . Perhaps he was born in the mid saaban and potrayed well as half baked character in films. Then , there is the night of of power ( lailatul qadar), that’s the last 1/3 of the month of Ramadhan – that’s when your fate for the year is brought down to the world by the angels. So , one may find it difficult to coincide these three periodic years. . The rule of the game is to carry on doing good deeds , be clean in all aspects of life and pray hard.

It is like the preparation of the trial balance at Nisfu Saaban . The debit and credit ( DR & CR) of all your deeds will be recorded and the account will be closed. No amendments made and no more blanco or canceling. The file is closed , saved in the disk and then uploaded for the detailed record to be retrieved in the here after. The final balance sheet will be handed over at the day of judgment . to you depending it is handed with the right of left hand . The number who is waiting for grave to cradle report card will be handed with the left or right hand. It is like the whole seasons of haj at the Arafat. The reconciliation of all the accounts will be done by the time you puff the last breath . The qadar night will provide the rezeki for the year until the next qadar. The nisfu saaban will ensure that you will be given the new record book . Those who will die within the year will not be given the record book.. Those who will die will not be allocated the rezeki fully the whole year. The most important thing is that you will have a small surplus after deducting the credit from the debits. In most cases, the debits are more than the credit and we should apply and pray for forgiveness – that’s to write off the aged debits with His blessings.

We cannot label Islam. There is no Extreme Islam or Liberal Islam. When we touch this issue , we are coming to a very sensitive area of labeling Islam . The Mazahabs are different things which are based on the rough and finer interpretations without any conflict. So , labeling of Islam as such may be counter productive. However. the labeling of Islam or prophet Muhammad is brought to the extreme by Denmark. They labeled Islam as terrorist on the prophet cartoons. It was not against the Danish law. But it is against other people religion . This is the freedom that you can condemn or make fun of others irrespective of the meanings. The Scandinavian countries have been liberal in many sense of the word. They were the pioneers free sex , exchanged partners,gay and lesbians, centre of pornography which is giving full freedom to human being even to imitate the animal kingdom. One should visit the red light district of St. Pauli in Copenhagen , the sin capital of the world. It is not surprising being the culture of the Vikings. The girls have blonde hair but if you look further down , it is still black. So , the Malay proverb to them is “ bulu sama hitam,hati lain lain”. Their civilization was the two horns ( there is another creature which is human like which have two horns). Surah kahfi did mention of the kaum with two horns ( dzukarnain). We can see in their culture in the film 13th Warriors and even depicted that the Muslim warrior (13th) prayed and have one round with the Viking maid before going to battle. Since Denmark label Islam , it is a quid pro quo action to identify the Denmark label ( butter, cheese and biscuits and dairy products) . After all these products are produced with no halal certification and we don’t know how clean they are. It is a good start in abstention from consuming non halal food?

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Dog Days

Tok Ku- Any other Malay “knotted language” on the Dog? Doggy Spouse – Saudara Anjing? This is a very interesting concept, indeed. When a divorced couple who got married and bring their own children to the family, the daughters and sons are “doggedly related” brothers and sisters. On the other hand, “Macam anjing dengan kucing” literally means “like dogs and cats”. It does not refer to a very heavy rain but to a very quarrelsome family. Can the “saudara anjing” children marry each other since the real dogs can do that. That’s why it is termed dog-related . This case is in a very “grey” area – “satu kes yang agak kelabu tahi anjing”. The colour grey ( kelabu tahi anjing) should be differentiated from the “ kuning tahi” colour ( very dark yellow.) Grey is the colour the politician sticks to since there is no black or white but every thing is in between, namely, grey. So, the unprincipled politician should be known as “ politkus kelabu tahi anjing.” Barking dog don’t bites – but don’t bet on that proverbs. If ever they have the chance, they will have a piece of your sweet flesh from the arm or thigh. Chased and bitten by dog at early age was a psychologically frightening experience and the fear factor stays on. “Anjing hitam” is the black sheep equivalent but of the nasty type. And “anjing kurap’ literally mean “dog with ringworm and fleas” but it is the equivalent “Pariah Dog”- defined as the ownerless half-wild mongrel dog common around Asian villages especially in India.
There is the “Black Dog Bone” band that played very good music in the yester years but it did not deteriorate to the Black Metals. The famous Spotted Dog in Selangor Club was the symbol of British colonialism of Malaya under which the colonial masters and planters had their “setengah” whisky. Another proverb is “ anjing kalau tak makan tahi, sekurang nya mencium nya” ( A criminal will always be tempted to commit criminal acts ) . A dog has a good sense of smell. The latest medical findings are that it can smell the developing cancer in ones body. The dog can also smell the perverted dog lovers i.e. those who love eating dog’s meat. So, the dog will keep barking at them. There are the drug dogs ( some are promoted to the rank of sergeant) with the ability to smell drugs however well hidden or concealed. They say that it takes a thief to catch a thief and corollary, it takes a drug addicted dog to detect the drugs. Poor dogs ! they were used as test animals for space travel, medical purposes and in drug detection. The animal rights NGOs are fuming over this issue. So, we can imagine that the training programme in the “One Stop Centre” for the drug dogs will have the reverse curriculum than that of the “One Stop Centre” for human.
Its has been a hard days night and I’ve been working like a dog. That how hard working the Beatles was to reach the top popularity in the music world and not overnight reality TV winners.. So, one has to strive hard and in the midst of failure to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. This should be the attitude and philosophy in this very competitive “dog eat dog world”. Dog Biscuit is part of the packed ration of the early British soldiers. It is very handy when one is very hungry patrolling at the borders. It is similar to” biskut keras or roti keras” and taste delicious when celup kopi O.The famous thinking dogs are Snoopy of the Peanuts cartoons. It has a big statute at the Grand Canyon which one can see when flying low below the sea level. The most intelligent was the British Bulldog – which helped Britain to defeat the advance of Hitler’s German. During the World Wars, the most interesting dog fight was between the British Sopwith Camel, Spitfire and the German Luftwaffe and the Japanese Zeros – the zero is more feared since the kamikaze pilot are braver than the British or American pilots nowadays who only pressed the buttons and killed thousands of afghans and Iraqis. They are not in the real “dog fight” fighter pilots but only “ video game” player fighter pilot.
The “doggie position ” is of course very different from the “piggy ride.” That’s the dog’s way of showing their passion even in public. However, the show of affection in public should also have its limit. The Eastern culture is not so demonstrative – not in the dog’s manner with very limited sense of privacy. But the West shows their affection so demonstratively to the extreme pecking and hands wondering ( raba - raba dan ramas - ramas) oblivious to the surroundings such passionate affection in public is a taboo in India but who produced the well described positions in the great The Kama Sutra ? Even not being so demonstratively affectionate in public, they can be very gymnastically talented in private. However, to show such affection in the public place or LRT is similar to the dogs obliviously doing their things in public that is not within the Eastern cultural values. The worst thing that can happen is when the two dogs get tied up physically. That an interesting sight to some but a terrible sight to others – especially when the children ask - what happened to the dogs. It is difficult to answer them. One way to get away with it is that since the dog have only legs (4) and don’t have hands, that’s how they are holding hands in public. Some of us have to face the unfortunate situation of explaining to the children why a couple is stuck of mouth to mouth (CPR) with octopus fingers in the LRT or in the children playground.
Why do the dogs get tied up into such a physical knot. That’s the case of doggy love which can be strongly tied up as compared to puppy love which is only occurring as one off feeling The explanation given by some is that at the climax, the head get expanded and being lodged inside. They have to wait to shrink to dislodge. The dogs should be trained not to have it in public or they should practice coitus interuptus. Unfortunately, they cannot be trained as such. On the other hand , human beings with the Eastern values can be trained not to outdo things in public places as free Western society !!.. Sometimes, I wonder how the “ Hot Dog” gets its name .That is when the male dog is very hot , it expanded to look like that being wrapped up in a split bun – what a sexy imagination of the culinary arts!! . That’s why I don’t like hot dog since it reminds me of what belongs to the dog when it is on heat or hot respectively . Finally, Gong Xi Fa Cai and Kong Hee Fatt Choy in the year of the Dog