Derumo

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

menopause

PokKu- Yes, menopause also happened to man – I supposed it is called “man pause” as compared to woman’s “menopause”. In Bahasa Malaysia , I suppose , it is called “ putus haid” in woman but in man, it should be termed as “ putus head”-that is when the head is “ switched off” . So, man undergoes the first adulthood when he has to “potong head” and enter to second adulthood when he had “putus head”. In the time in between the potong and putus head, his is very active indeed.

There was a man aged 35 who feel not well and had flushes all over his face and body in the morning and in the evening. When he told his friends about this problem - they told him that he may be entering his “man pause” stage. After some thorough medical check up and blood test, it was discovered that he had thyroid – over active thyroid gland which increased the body metabolism and give flushes to the face. In the traditional Malay medicine, there is no need for Viagra or Callis or Catuk Mas or Tongkat Ali or Sawat Unta Kering but by doing regular exercise and some traditional massage. No, you don’t have to exercise it such vigorously such as lifting the shoes or dumb bells. There is an exercise that the old traditional Malay man (such as Mat Kilau of Peramu and Tok Gajah of Paya Besar) did which was called Senaman Geliat Kucing or its vigorous version of Senaman Geliat Harimau. Then you need a group of 20 men of “putus head” men and we will organize a workshop. There is a story of a man who practices that particular exercise who took a second wife. . So he first wife was very angry and he complained that he cannot stand her as she become very furious like the tiger ...” garang macam harimau. He also cannot stand the second young wife since she is also harimau, that is, “hari, hari, mau …and hari, hari mau “

London

Pok Ku- You have shown that what happened in London was an attack by terrorist and definitely not an attack by true Muslim. However, many are seeing it more as an attack by Muslim and the international media are reinforcing it in the slant of their reporting. This terrorist approach is familiar to Malaysia and Britain in British Malaya. The British were facing the CTs (Communist Terrorists) in Malaya and then, the IRA in Ireland and now, this type of terrorist in London. The British were experts on the approach adopted by the terrorist (rural or urban) which is based mainly on the guerilla warfare tactics except in this case; it is done internationally with no borders. Terrorist approach has certain war doctrine such as “When the enemy attacks, we withdraw. When the enemy withdraws, we attack”. “Time is on our side”. “We choose the battle ground to fight.” etc. The attack was done when they see their counterparts as at most relaxed posture.

The fanatics or in modern days terms is called Fan Club (Fan is short for Fanatic) involved were members Terrorist Fan Club irrespective of who they are. Therefore, it should be looked from the angle of Terrorist strategies and tactics irrespective of which organizations … MCP, IRA, VC, ETA, FARC, The Red Army, ETC, etc. etc. Therefore, they should be looked as Members of the Terrorist Fan Club and not as exclusively the members of Muslim community per se. However, the angle in the news reporting seems to show that Terrorism against Democracy as “Islam against Democracy.” The terrorist is equated consciously or unconsciously at the back of the mind with Islam directly or by implication. Since that’s the view of the West, we cannot avoid such stereotyping cannot is inevitable as the Malay saying goes “If a buffalo gets into the mud, the whole herd of buffaloes will be smeared.” And we can add that even an innocent cow that may be smeared too. Even the turbaned Sikh became an innocent victim.

Malaysian felt more close to the incidence since those tube stations and double decker bus are more familiar to some Malaysian. It is not as remote as the places in Moscow theatre. We sympathized with all those innocent ones. To the terrorist, it may be just figures of dead and injured euphemistically termed as “collateral damage.” As the pilots who bombed the civilians by mistake, it was just the click of the button as a boy playing the video game. What ever is it - killing of the innocence in whatever name (e.g. Collateral damage) is not justified since no one would like themselves or their close friends to be mortgaged as the collateral to any deadly incidence such as the Terror in London.

merdeka

PokKu- What is the origin of the word “merdeka”? Perhaps those in DBP (Dewan Blog & Pakblog) can tell us. The word is related to the word slavery – to free the slave is “untuk merdeheka hamba abdi” – freedom /independence. Since it is not Arabic (istiqhlal) or English (Independence), perhaps it was of Sanskrit (e.g mentera, mendeka etc. ???) However, the word was not so familiar before 1957. You can listen to the old folk in the Malayan Film Units pronouncing it “mengdeka or mendeka …or merdeheka”….and among the children, who were so happy to get the free cinema tickets, they shouted mentega ( butter) …not to make fun of it but that’s the nearest words they knew ( butter). Those from East Coast pronounced it with a slight twist as Man Deko – referring Mr. Deraman Bin Umor whose hand is slightly bent and legs slightly short and limping ( Deko) after his unfortunate the last accident on his old Honda Cub 50 with the express bas. Perhaps, some may have the spirit of Hang Jebat and pronounce it as “menderhaka.” That was true during the colonial days that we had to menderhaka kepada penjajah British in order to get our Merdeka. At least, we know that Malaysia was derived from Malay Asia – used long ago by the British, and Japanese. Why Malaysia is pronounced with a silent “H”or “Y” ( ME-LEY- SYIA) . And not as it is spelt MA- LAI- SEE-A. Perhaps, it sound more Anglicized or on the other hand, if pronounced in the original spelt version in Chinese dialect, it means different thing.

Rap or Hip Hop. Frankly, I don’t know what the difference but I don’t dig that kind of music. So my views are definitely very biased and highly skewed. Not that they are Afro African origin but it just don’t jive into my ears. The song is just the continuous chanting or murmuring of words and seems to be sung by anyone who cannot sing . To make it nice, Too Phat has to intersperse it with anak ayam or other traditional Malay song. The pronunciation of the words was so swallowed (berboloq) and you don’t know what it is all about. I prefer the Queens English or even Manglish as it is more comprehensible. Rather than Afro American accent which is interspersed with yeoohhh; yeoohh. It is the culture in the Bronx but are we still dependent of their culture and need to import it wholesale?? . Once I listen to KL FM radio and the cute eyed Adam AF2 was on the air. One girl phoned in and asked him how long he had become a rapist? Adam answered “semenjak dari kecil lagi….

At least, now I know why it is called Rap. The pronunciation of the lyrics is so “berboloq” (swallowed up) like being wrapping up in the mouth which is munching the hot dog or burger. They cannot afford nice juicy steak at the posh grill restaurant and have to make do with the hot dog at the street corner. Anyway, one thing I do appreciate about rap is the long lyrics. So, the singer has to memorize it all irrespective of his level of comprehension. It may be of no problem to Malaysian who can hafal lagu Hindustan or the Arab song without knowing the meaning. It is better if you know the meaning. I don’t like the rap dance which I supposed originated from the break dance. . This is the dance which uses a lot of the head and hands not to show your expression but to support the body in the contorted Chinese acrobat position. At least, I can guess why it is called “break dance”? If you missed your twist or turn when you are jumping or doing the head spin – you will break your leg or better still you neck.

The dress for the rap singer is of course oversized. Some times I wonder if their singlet, underwear or boxers is also oversized- just for the inside out fashion conscious and not to support any large anatomy. It is the way the Malaysian kampong parents buy the clothes of one or two size more when you’re young so that that it can last for two or three years. I remember wearing an oversize Fung Keong white shoes to school and feel like Mickey Mouse. Why does the Afro Asian wear the oversize dress? Usually, you get the oversize clothing free- when give for disaster or from the church charity give always or cheap at second hand shops. That reflect the poverty levels of the Afro Americans and to hide it , it was turned to a fashion. Remember the worn and torn jeans- if you cannot afford to buy new ones , ask Calvin Klein or Gucci to turn it fashion . The dance movement and hand gestures in the rap song. outstretched and pointing fingers. Why? Perhaps , the clothing are too big and baggy , you have to stretch your hands to avoid it drooping down.

We have not got our cultural independence as yet. Especially in music and song . the cultural colonization is an ongoing process. It is very rapid without us realizing it especially among the younger generation . It is mentioned apologetically as globalization. In the east coast , globe is known as “gelok” . made of coconut shell for containing water. So , west globalization is to put everything in the western gelok. Our children are eating pears, apples, oranges ..and putting away the smelly durians, messy mangoes teen, funny taste Lang sat. They don’t eat kapok lekor but loved hot dogs, never taste the lempeng but loved pancakes and pizza, drink san Frisco and put off by black local coffee kow, . So , the orang asli was right when he said that they are the orang asli in this country while all others are "Orang Tiruan “ Barat yang tidak bukan asli lagi dan belum merdeka ”

'stud bulls

Pok Ku - Talking about the mating behavior of the cicadas, it reminds me of the mating behaviour of the cattles and the cows. For the purpose of breeding, the stud bull is used and they are better in status than the gigolos since they sired good cattle either for the milk or meat. The stud bull is very expensive (e.g. more than RM 30,000 per bull?? ) depending on its size, virility and breed. The natural service ratio is usually at 1:25, that is, one stud bull is to 25 breeding cows where the bull can do its duty efficiently. However, there are those who wanted to economize and resort to using one stud bull to provide the natural service to 50 - 100 cows. Of course, the bull is very happy having a big harem. However, within three months, it got weak and died. So, the accountant has to give a good reason to write off such a valuable assets and usually the cause of death is stated as natural exhaustion.

In the olden days, the Chinese Emperors had 1,000 mistresses /concubines which is still traceable in the in the Forbidden City today. If we calculate, the Emperor would not have the opportunity to his favorite one once in three years. And by the third round the concubine was already old. Most of the Emperors die at very young age which explain to what happened to the stud bulls. They cicadas make so much noise because they cannot get it – once in 7 years. This behaviour seems to reflect in the human species as well. A man who is “quite quite tapioca” type will have second or even fourth wife. But those who make a lot of noise usually dared only to talk but not to do it. The dogs that bark don’t bites. So let the cicadas spent their preserved and highly charged energy to make the noise as alternative outlets.

The common remarks that “you don’t have to keep or rear the whole cow, if you can get the milk from the market. ” are not very pleasant to the female ears. Well, the cows can now reply to such expression by saying that “you don’t have to buy the expensive stud bull if you can get the frozen semen from the market” for artificial insemination (AI).” . In doing the AI, the Veteran Veterinarian have to hold the frozen semen in a straw tube in his mouth to maintain at body temperature and simultaneously have to fondle the back of the cow before put their whole arms (seluk) in to locate the uterus and then put the defrosted semen into it. Don’t worry about the size or the length of your arm/ hands since the cow usually can take it but we may not be able to take the smell, sight and sound of the semi liquid dung that come out from the same channel.

The next question that comes to mind is how do they collect the semen and preserve it cryogenically in the very cold liquid nitrogen. In the case of test tube babies or sperm bank, they put a man in the room to solve the problem and with some videos, he can find the right solution. How do you excite the stud bulls? Of course, the pictures of sexy cows with bumpy humps or very large udder won’t do the trick. Or the mooos and booos of the cows like the cicadas would also not do the trick. Well, they have to create an artificial cow on wheels and with the smell of the cows on heat. The bull will react accordingly and have his way with the artificial cow and it is collected like the venom of cobra in the centre for producing snake bite antidote

Some of the insects also go by the smell. May be the cicadas should be genetically modified (GMO) to sexually attracted by smell and not by sound. The beetles will be sexed up ( like the M I5 report on Iraq to Tony Blair ) and attracted by the pheromone which produced by the female beetles. So , to kill this pest , artificial pheromone is placed in the trap and they will get killed in the trap bins … .. It is the true love since one the beetle is willing to sacrifice itself just to have a go at the female beetles. It is no different for human beings too where many dies of Venereal Diseases, Vietnam Rose and AIDS & HIV…… just to have a good go at it . On the other hand, the animals at time are one level higher than human beings. The male of any animals or insects won’t sexually mount the other male animal or insects however horny they are. In other words, there are no gay or lesbian animals or insects. I am sure the two cicadas in your photos are male and female and they are NOT both males and both females. On the other hand , the liberal western societies are more advanced that they allow the same sex male of female the legal right to mount each other !!!

size doesnt matter

PokKu – I was on a short holiday. What is important is that was a good holiday – even though it a short one and not a long one. That was the issue of your blog which touched on a literally and physically very sensitive area. It is difficult to comment without getting lecherous since I am neither a lecturer nor a lecherer. It should be a discourse between two parties, i.e., the not so well endowed male and the not so well provided female. ( Lucia asked for my comments on this.) If I keep the opinion to myself debating the pros and cons, it tantamount to an intellectual masturbation. It has to be educational and even couched in double meaning so that the young and inexperienced may not be able to fathom the actual meaning. It had been the subject of literary writings since they said “the penis mightier than the sword”. Or the famous literature quotation by Shakespeare – “Too Big or Not Too Big - That’s the Question.” . It may be related to power. Hitler who was a megalomaniac had only one testicle in the scrotum and he is not so much good thinker as Socrates.( singular – scrotum ; plural – socrates?) Napoleon Bonaparte had a small stature and, logically, his is proportionately small in size, but he compensated his inferiority complex by being Big Emperor of France .

(cont.) The Big issue in Thailand cabinet now is how to identify the One with the Big Artificial One. Perhaps, Monica Lewinsky can be of assistance since she had done well as the US Congressional Aid. The only problem with Monica was that when Clinton denied his affair with Monica, he asked the reporters to read his lips. On the other hand , Monica was at a disadvantage because she cannot open up and ask the reporter to read her “lips”. It is difficult task for her unless there is a “before and after” record/ x rays/picture . Perhaps, the documentation of this anatomy should be included as the biometric record at the US Immigration database so that when people who are guilty conscious or scared passed the scanner, it can be detected as shrinkage and be subjected to full security search. .

( cont.) To rise to the occasion, the organ has to be fully filled with blood. You need to have a very high blood pressure (@ 210/ 100) and good locking valves ( viagraless) in order to keep you and maintain your honour. Therefore, a big size will require much blood to be pumped and piped down. The medium or small size will have no problem at filling up and get blown from inside or from outside. The disadvantage of the big ones, especially artificially enlarged, is only half or three quarter is filled the blood vessels and it becomes a Macrosoft – macro(big) but soft. When the locking valves loosen, it will start to sing the famous cowboy song” Hang down your head Tom Dooley , hang down your head and cry !!” Obviously , it cannot perform the 21 gun salute to celebrate the happy occasion. So, the famous Chartered Bank slogan of “Big ,Strong and Friendly” will become “Weak, Throng and Softly” . That’s the meaning of the lyrics of the song “ killing me softly, killing me softly with his……” If it is so soft , it’s really killing the lady who felt not so well provided for. .

( cont.) What is lacking in size can be compensated by other factors. What matters is the whole package - Rigidity , Longevity, Frictionability. To some extent, the circumcision does provide for the package. There are people in western societies who are against circumcision . They even sued their parents for circumcising them when they were small. Of course , the mutilation of female organ that chopped of the whole bishop’s nose ( of the chicken) is not a good practice. It was meant to slice only the tip of the bishop’s nose not the whole lot. What compensatory factors does it give??? When the skin is cut off, its length is slightly shortened which enhances its rigidity. Even tough it is not long but it is long- lasting since the exposed head and neck make it less ticklish. It is like the Eveready Battery which is capable on nine lives or for that matter nine rounds !! The rather jagged “skin off” portion will create roughness that enhances frictionability. However, what is often told is only for hygienic reason and naturally deodorized. By the way, have any one heard or, for that matter, experienced the “second” circumcision. It is usually done at the age of 50 + + or even at 60 + + . This second circumcision is similar in concept and principle as the face lift in the cosmetic surgery. With age, the sagging skin will decrease its rigidity and roughness. So , the second cutting off of the skin will give a new lift (equivalent to the face lift ). However, the person will be out of action for two or three weeks – to give time for the wound to heal. The second circumcision is only possible with the veteran Tok Mudin who may have his third or fourth one. It may be a bit painful but one can stand the pain at that age as compared to the younger days. What is important it is worth the pain. But after the overhaul , it is as good as new. So, Happy Birthday to You ( 61) and Selamat Pengantin Baru ( 63)

PokKu – I was on a short holiday. What is important is that was a good holiday – even though it a short one and not a long one. That was the issue of your blog which touched on a literally and physically very sensitive area. It is difficult to comment without getting lecherous since I am neither a lecturer nor a lecherer. It should be a discourse between two parties, i.e., the not so well endowed male and the not so well provided female. ( Lucia asked for my comments on this.) If I keep the opinion to myself debating the pros and cons, it tantamount to an intellectual masturbation. It has to be educational and even couched in double meaning so that the young and inexperienced may not be able to fathom the actual meaning. It had been the subject of literary writings since they said “the penis mightier than the sword”. Or the famous literature quotation by Shakespeare – “Too Big or Not Too Big - That’s the Question.” . It may be related to power. Hitler who was a megalomaniac had only one testicle in the scrotum and he is not so much good thinker as Socrates.( singular – scrotum ; plural – socrates?) Napoleon Bonaparte had a small stature and, logically, his is proportionately small in size, but he compensated his inferiority complex by being Big Emperor of France .

(cont.) The Big issue in Thailand cabinet now is how to identify the One with the Big Artificial One. Perhaps, Monica Lewinsky can be of assistance since she had done well as the US Congressional Aid. The only problem with Monica was that when Clinton denied his affair with Monica, he asked the reporters to read his lips. On the other hand , Monica was at a disadvantage because she cannot open up and ask the reporter to read her “lips”. It is difficult task for her unless there is a “before and after” record/ x rays/picture . Perhaps, the documentation of this anatomy should be included as the biometric record at the US Immigration database so that when people who are guilty conscious or scared passed the scanner, it can be detected as shrinkage and be subjected to full security search. .

( cont.) To rise to the occasion, the organ has to be fully filled with blood. You need to have a very high blood pressure (@ 210/ 100) and good locking valves ( viagraless) in order to keep you and maintain your honour. Therefore, a big size will require much blood to be pumped and piped down. The medium or small size will have no problem at filling up and get blown from inside or from outside. The disadvantage of the big ones, especially artificially enlarged, is only half or three quarter is filled the blood vessels and it becomes a Macrosoft – macro(big) but soft. When the locking valves loosen, it will start to sing the famous cowboy song” Hang down your head Tom Dooley , hang down your head and cry !!” Obviously , it cannot perform the 21 gun salute to celebrate the happy occasion. So, the famous Chartered Bank slogan of “Big ,Strong and Friendly” will become “Weak, Throng and Softly” . That’s the meaning of the lyrics of the song “ killing me softly, killing me softly with his……” If it is so soft , it’s really killing the lady who felt not so well provided for. .

( cont.) What is lacking in size can be compensated by other factors. What matters is the whole package - Rigidity , Longevity, Frictionability. To some extent, the circumcision does provide for the package. There are people in western societies who are against circumcision . They even sued their parents for circumcising them when they were small. Of course , the mutilation of female organ that chopped of the whole bishop’s nose ( of the chicken) is not a good practice. It was meant to slice only the tip of the bishop’s nose not the whole lot. What compensatory factors does it give??? When the skin is cut off, its length is slightly shortened which enhances its rigidity. Even tough it is not long but it is long- lasting since the exposed head and neck make it less ticklish. It is like the Eveready Battery which is capable on nine lives or for that matter nine rounds !! The rather jagged “skin off” portion will create roughness that enhances frictionability. However, what is often told is only for hygienic reason and naturally deodorized. By the way, have any one heard or, for that matter, experienced the “second” circumcision. It is usually done at the age of 50 + + or even at 60 + + . This second circumcision is similar in concept and principle as the face lift in the cosmetic surgery. With age, the sagging skin will decrease its rigidity and roughness. So , the second cutting off of the skin will give a new lift (equivalent to the face lift ). However, the person will be out of action for two or three weeks – to give time for the wound to heal. The second circumcision is only possible with the veteran Tok Mudin who may have his third or fourth one. It may be a bit painful but one can stand the pain at that age as compared to the younger days. What is important it is worth the pain. But after the overhaul , it is as good as new. So, Happy Birthday to You ( 61) and Selamat Pengantin Baru ( 63)

PokKu – I was on a short holiday. What is important is that was a good holiday – even though it a short one and not a long one. That was the issue of your blog which touched on a literally and physically very sensitive area. It is difficult to comment without getting lecherous since I am neither a lecturer nor a lecherer. It should be a discourse between two parties, i.e., the not so well endowed male and the not so well provided female. ( Lucia asked for my comments on this.) If I keep the opinion to myself debating the pros and cons, it tantamount to an intellectual masturbation. It has to be educational and even couched in double meaning so that the young and inexperienced may not be able to fathom the actual meaning. It had been the subject of literary writings since they said “the penis mightier than the sword”. Or the famous literature quotation by Shakespeare – “Too Big or Not Too Big - That’s the Question.” . It may be related to power. Hitler who was a megalomaniac had only one testicle in the scrotum and he is not so much good thinker as Socrates.( singular – scrotum ; plural – socrates?) Napoleon Bonaparte had a small stature and, logically, his is proportionately small in size, but he compensated his inferiority complex by being Big Emperor of France .

(cont.) The Big issue in Thailand cabinet now is how to identify the One with the Big Artificial One. Perhaps, Monica Lewinsky can be of assistance since she had done well as the US Congressional Aid. The only problem with Monica was that when Clinton denied his affair with Monica, he asked the reporters to read his lips. On the other hand , Monica was at a disadvantage because she cannot open up and ask the reporter to read her “lips”. It is difficult task for her unless there is a “before and after” record/ x rays/picture . Perhaps, the documentation of this anatomy should be included as the biometric record at the US Immigration database so that when people who are guilty conscious or scared passed the scanner, it can be detected as shrinkage and be subjected to full security search. .

( cont.) To rise to the occasion, the organ has to be fully filled with blood. You need to have a very high blood pressure (@ 210/ 100) and good locking valves ( viagraless) in order to keep you and maintain your honour. Therefore, a big size will require much blood to be pumped and piped down. The medium or small size will have no problem at filling up and get blown from inside or from outside. The disadvantage of the big ones, especially artificially enlarged, is only half or three quarter is filled the blood vessels and it becomes a Macrosoft – macro(big) but soft. When the locking valves loosen, it will start to sing the famous cowboy song” Hang down your head Tom Dooley , hang down your head and cry !!” Obviously , it cannot perform the 21 gun salute to celebrate the happy occasion. So, the famous Chartered Bank slogan of “Big ,Strong and Friendly” will become “Weak, Throng and Softly” . That’s the meaning of the lyrics of the song “ killing me softly, killing me softly with his……” If it is so soft , it’s really killing the lady who felt not so well provided for. .

( cont.) What is lacking in size can be compensated by other factors. What matters is the whole package - Rigidity , Longevity, Frictionability. To some extent, the circumcision does provide for the package. There are people in western societies who are against circumcision . They even sued their parents for circumcising them when they were small. Of course , the mutilation of female organ that chopped of the whole bishop’s nose ( of the chicken) is not a good practice. It was meant to slice only the tip of the bishop’s nose not the whole lot. What compensatory factors does it give??? When the skin is cut off, its length is slightly shortened which enhances its rigidity. Even tough it is not long but it is long- lasting since the exposed head and neck make it less ticklish. It is like the Eveready Battery which is capable on nine lives or for that matter nine rounds !! The rather jagged “skin off” portion will create roughness that enhances frictionability. However, what is often told is only for hygienic reason and naturally deodorized. By the way, have any one heard or, for that matter, experienced the “second” circumcision. It is usually done at the age of 50 + + or even at 60 + + . This second circumcision is similar in concept and principle as the face lift in the cosmetic surgery. With age, the sagging skin will decrease its rigidity and roughness. So , the second cutting off of the skin will give a new lift (equivalent to the face lift ). However, the person will be out of action for two or three weeks – to give time for the wound to heal. The second circumcision is only possible with the veteran Tok Mudin who may have his third or fourth one. It may be a bit painful but one can stand the pain at that age as compared to the younger days. What is important it is worth the pain. But after the overhaul , it is as good as new. So, Happy Birthday to You ( 61) and Selamat Pengantin Baru ( 63)

TV

PokKu- Your blog reminds me of the essay in the LCE exam on the good and bad influence of TV- at that time it was still in black and white. Pok Ku’s (being a radio programme generator himself) younger days were from the radio generation which more positive influence. While listening to the radio, we can study. But during the examination most students cannot do well because radios are not allowed in the exam hall. I am sure many will do better if radio is allowed on with the use of ear plug. Our English from SMC or Remove Class can be improved by listening to the radio programme. The conversation and pronunciation is much better with the slang of Allen Zachariah or Helan Abu. But in watching TV, half of our attention has been hijacked to the pictures. The music video is half clouded with the images the half clad girls with suggestive sexual gestures which resemble more of the soft porn. It is not the song that stays in the mind but the suggestive movement of Madonna on bed, the bulges of cup DD of J.Lopez or the hands of Michael Jackson stroking his zips or what is inside it.

The present schooling generation study time has to compete many external distractions. I.e. with the TV programme, with the supermarket/ shopping complexes, with the video game, with the 24 hours Mamak stall, with easy access to drugs, with modern music, with the week end parties etc. Finally , the student will score straight 6As, that is, A1 for TV watching , A1 for lepak in super market, A1 for video game , A1 for staying late at Mamak stall, A2 for light drugs , A1 for weekend “birthday parties”. That the new generation loaded with such that we are producing now. It is part of the western culture colonization and the main media is the TV. It used to be the sailing ships of British East India Company or the Dutch V.O.C. or the Spanish galleons. On the other hand, they will get straight sixes (6’s) in the SPM exam - C 6 for every subjects.

When have multiple channels and numerous TV stations to choose from. The latest is the reality TV which even goes to the extent of putting up a programme of how a girl will choose her husband or how to compete to be a chosen husband – of course copied from copied from western TV. The programme should be renamed “Perigi Cari Timba”. In fact, this concept of “perigi cari timba” has advanced a step further from advertising in the papers, magazine or the internet that you’re single girl looking for a suitable husband and many males will write in and contact the lady advertisers. In the porno magazine in US and EU, the advertisement will be accompanied with the pictures of the lady’s three valuable assets - how disgusting!!!

( cont.) Academy Fantasia has become another interesting reality programme... But the voting through sms seems to be reflecting of practice of “money politics” in the arts and music. If you have money, you can have the power (politics) to sustain the student of your choice in the Academy. It is like voting for the wakil rakyat or for that matter perwakilan parti who is popular even though mediocre in their performance will sustain long in the party until the disciplinary committee take serious action. The whole objective is to make money via sms, more advertisement in the TV, and the winner of the whole system is leader of the majority who becomes the Prime Minister but this is the case of Akademi Fantasia, it follows the presidential system – the most voted candidate in the Electoral College will emerge as the President even though he is a former film star like Ronald Regan or Eric Estrada or MG Ramachandran. What is the common feature of these presidents – they have almost the same hair style.

word

The word tunjal may convey many interesting meanings. You can tunjal your legs to ride the bas tunjal. If you observe the track events in athletics, there is a sprint block on which the 100 meters runner will kick back hard while the swimmers will make a U turn and tunjal the wall of the swimming pool to ensure good forward propulsion. However, the modern Malay may prefer to use the word “sprintasi” (instead of tunjal. For example, use “Akademi Fantasi” instead of “Maktab Khayalan.” What happened when one gives or receive kick back? It is not stated as a tunjal but rather to “punch under your armpit” (tumbuk rusuk) I suppose if the amount is big at least a handful ( se penumbuk) it is tumbuk rusuk but it is a small amount which can be held by the fingers, it is known as “tunjalan”.

You can also “tunjal” using your fingers by “ tunjal muka’, ‘nak tunjal dahi dia” atau in other district “nak jengkal muka dia” . This is considered as a very impolite gesture where you point your fingers direct at another’s face, particularly at the forehead with the aim of embarrassing him. That’s why in the Malay culture it is very rude to point at another person or object with your index fingers which tantamount to “menunjal” your finger. Instead, the use of the thumb is more polite and refined. So, you use your “penunjuk” finger to tunjal and your “mother finger ” to tunjuk!! On the other hand, if you poke (tunjal) some body with your index finger on the stomach, it become only a “cokek” pronounce as Cho–Keq. This will make the other party to “latah” and say some forbidden magic words forbidden word which is only unique to Malay society


It is interesting that there is no real terminology for the fish “lure.” And of course, I strongly support Pok Ku created terminology “Ikang Lebong.” Of course, you cannot call the fish lure as ikan liar which is not possible to catch. But in catching the terkukur or merbuk birds, they use a “lure” bird in a locked cage to call and lure other free birds to be trapped in the open cage next door. If I’m not mistaken, it is known as “burung denak’ or ‘burung pemikat”. Perhaps, another terminology that can be considered for the fish lure is ikan denak. This is being used a lot in advertising – where they used busty and barely clad girl as the “denak” for the products. Anyway, the other alternative is to call it “umpan tiruan” (artificial bait) but it may not so accurate or precise. That reminds me of a story of one urban dwellers going to Cameron Highlands and he stopped at the road side to buy some durians. So, he asked the durian seller whether he is an “Orang Asli”. The durian seller, somewhat annoyed, answered “Encik, memang lah shaya Orang Asli bukan nya macam Encik Orang Tiruan!”

water

Pok Ku- You gave long list of how the consumers waste the water but what ever it is, they paid for it. But there is another party who wasted most of the water and asked others to pay for it. Surprise? Before the water goes to the tap in the houses, it is piped through the underground network. However, this underground network is an OLDIE and so HOLY. (i.e. old and with lots of holes). The water loss through the seepage is estimated about 50% or so by the expert "waterologist". ( if you don’t believe me, go under the pipes and measure it your self) Or alternatively, you can get a branch stick (as used by the cowboys to look for water source) and point it along the underground pipelines and it will always point down. So, the consumer can only waste a fraction of the residual 50% of the water supplied to them which is at the maximum less than what the water supplier wasted . This fact is often not revealed since what happened is an underground activity.

But that water wastage still constituted part of the “overhead cost” (in this case, under feet or underground cost) and the consumers had to be charged for it and wag the fingers vigorously at those watering their plants or bathing their Kancils – since the Kambings (latest Protiga Compact car Model to be in the market after the AFTA) refuse to bathe or be bathed. That’s why in KL, they are changing to a new piping network now. Some “waterologist” said that the re piping can be done for free if the 50% leakage is recovered. Or alternative the water rate can be reduced by half. This is a good effort where the consumer will be PUAS to hear the privatized company making some investment in water supply other than just signing an agreement which is mainly to their favour. It was reported to start in TTDI whose residents find the tractors, backhoes and road drills etc. are being orchestrated to play the road side symphony in front of their house. The last place they are going to dig as a special night operation is at the car wash next to Rasta Eating Shack when there is another Nasi Dagang Party to be organized by Pok Ku. – To provide the music background for the blogger which was not available the last time around?

(cont) How to teach the Malaysian to be more water conscious. In affluence, “Money is the root of all evil “, which include the evil of wasting water. “Necessity is the mother of Invention” and of course “Scarcity is the Father of Economisization”. We should have the water rationing at twice a week- as a drill practice for the drought season and create a more “hydro conscious“Malaysian population. Either you conserve it in the tank and use it sparingly or face the consequences of having no water after you have done your business and the toilet paper is not enough to clean it. Alternatively, put them in a summer camp in the Khyber Pass or Gobi desert for a month. You can see lots of them, especially the Muslims, rolling in the dust on the ground every Friday morning doing their tayamum or doing their “grand hadas.” Another approach is adopt the “three in one ( 3 in 1) approach, i.e., Three Passes and One Flush – that is the combination of Three Passes of Water or Motion or Both and then a Flush of Water. You do it three times and close tight lidded (and never open it) and flush once with the royal flush. Most of us know how much is the amount of one royal flush of water recalling the freshie days when given the royal flush honour – the water seems to be keep coming down on your head / face timelessly. Or you can use the 3 in 1 approach as an excuse when your wife catch and scold you for forgetting to flush – say that you do it purposely to save water.

In the old days, water management and conservation was part of Malaysian National Non Secular Education Curriculum. When attending the Evening Quran class, the duty of the student was to draw water from the well, filled them in the 17 kilos kerosene tin and carry it to fill the pool of the surau , and then the Tok Guru house tempayan or even in the anaks and menantus houses. It was quite heavy task though which was detested by all but no boys and girls attending the Quran class were exempted from that duty. The small girls who cannot carry heavy load are asked to sweep the floor or the compound of the surau /house. You have to carry the water in the 17 kilo tin by two people and to strengthen it you have to put one hand on the other carrier’s shoulder. . It was the “Kara and Carry” system (Kara or spelt in English as Carra). It is nice if your carrying partner is a girl who is growing up adolescence and you can see all her muscles up . So , there is no need for the extra curricular or Physical Education ( PE) class and carrying water is part of the curriculum 3 K’s ( Kara , Karry , Kolam) informal religious education system. Some said that was an exploitation of the young labour. Well, it was no exploitation but only a “double exchange of wants” since the children don’t pay cash (parent cannot afford) for the class except for the nasi kuning and telor / rendang for the initial registration, the children pay in kind. The children have to literally carry the burden of their Quranic education - in terms of timba and pales and tins and tins of water daily... It is no different to the present PTPN – where the children pay for his education. But the traditional “ Pay As You Learn” by carrying water is better since you are not indebted when you khotam ( complete) your Quran as compared to now when you khatam ( graduate) your study – you get a certificate, an I.O.U of RM 60,000 and NO JOB which is as painful as another khatan ( circumcision) session.

( cont.) Talking of New Water (spelt NUWATER to psychologically conceal the original water), we should not forget about the Old Water. For every 1,000 gallons of raw water, we sell for 3 sen and buy it back after treatment at 50 sen. Mind you; we are paid the 3 sen from the 50 sen of our money. In fact, we paid a net of 47 sen so; we built our own treatment centre which cost RM 1.20 for it per 1,000 gallons. What to do …. We have to pay to be independent of the water supplied by other countries which is in fact our own water. Nothing much can be done since the legal clause is taken “parri passu” from the Treaty of Pangkor 1874 which will be valid as “long as there is the sun and the moon in the sky.” So, we should produce Nuwater and piped it to other countries. It is economically worth while; psychologically fulfilling and egoistically satisfying to collect all our waste water and let others buy and drink it. There are others who may have other radical ideas. The area around the catchments should be cleared and planted with oil palm and rubber tress so that we can produce more biofuel and more condoms. But don’t slash and burn it since every one will know where the fire is when there is lots of smoke and haze around. By doing this, you can have your “one bird and two stones” – one long protruding bird and two round soft stones below it!!!

Although it is known as NEW water, it was an aged old concept. I read some where that one of the former Indian Prime Minister used to drink his own water for medicinal benefits. (Of course, not direct from the tap but in a glass). One thing for sure, you can get rid of everything but the odor but the new water is able to do that. However, the other thing is that you cannot get rid of your imagination and psychological hang over – when pouring from the pot, it feels like from the toilet bowl. I know of a friend who recycles his own water . He likes gardening by growing flowers and even vegetables in his backyard. His garden looks very green and uses to give some of the vegetables to me. . Finally, I find out that he used the natural fertilizer which is derived from his water. After that I don’t accept any leafy vegetables from him anymore. Now I know that he is good in gardening not because he has “green fingers” but he use the water from the “eleventh finger “

The kampung water from the well is laded with lots of mineral in the undissolved form which give a unique coloration. If you stay in the coastal area , the water is a bit dark and payau ( brackish) . It is good for making coffee since you can use less coffee to get the very "kow" black. If it is in the clayish region ( berselut) or drawn from muddy river , the grayish yellow ( kelabu kuning) water can be used for teh tarik which save a lot of milk. Preferably you don’t even notice it after eating fresh water fish , you think it is from the fish left over and not from the water

Rang Ikang

Pok Ku- There is a more familiar use of the word “rang” as in the “Rang Undang Undang”. Did that word “rang” ring a bell? Before legislation becomes law, it is tabled as a “Rang Undang Undang”. In English, the term used is a Bill. The draft law is “tabled as a bill and then passed as the Act of Parliament”. A bill is also an invoice for you to pay. I suppose it is the same at the Mamak stall ,when he “tables a bill and you make it as the act of payment.” I suppose the word “rang” may be the short form of “sarang” or the “rangka.” Sarang undang undang or rangka undang undang – shortened to rang undang undang. Well, we have to ask DBP - Dewan Blogger & Pustaka. However, your rang is a different – its physical sarang or rangka - an “elevated platform.” So, the English translation is not as “Under the Dried Fish Bill” but it should be “Under the Dried Fish Elevated Platform”.

What about your slogan ”Random Rambling of a Retired Retainer” – It sounds nice with all the Rs initials. What’s the Malay equivalent? . All the words are easy to translate except for “retainer”? Retainer defined as one who obtained fee, payment or allowance. In the East Coast, the word is '" pelihara” (pelera) –to retain by maintaining and use the service once a while. Examples are in the fire brigade or the army . No fire, no war but they are still get their pay. So, it is “Beleber Rawak dari Pelera Bersara Dibawah Rang Ikang Kering” or in English “Random rambling of a Retired Retainer under the Smelly Elevated Platform for Drying Fish”

PokKu likes to eat out everywhere, unlike those who are scared of cholesterol or euric acid.. For those who are very gout-fearing (as oppose to those who are God fearing), they avoid all type of sea food such as the big juicy prawn. There is a tip (petua) on how to enjoy the prawn without worrying about the gout etc. Make sure you eat the sharp end of the tail which is a hardened pointed structure in between the tail fins. That’s the antidote to cholesterol (remember the petua that the durian “heat” antidote is by drinking the water from its pod.) At first, I was skeptical about it – but taking chitosan ( which is made from chitin to reduce the cholesterol) it does make some sense. It is an irony that you eat the prawn and throw away the skin; and then you buy the expensive chitosan which is the prawn skin. In order to encourage you to eat the tail end, such effort will give you two rewards. Firstly, the chitin gathers the fats from your system to be discharged out; and secondly, part of your anatomy will imitate the hardness and sharpness of the prawn’s tail , aphrodisiacally speaking.

pulau

PokKu- thanks for your invitation for me “to fill in the gaps” which had made me a staff ( Pok Der Umo) commentator of your Blog. In Ganu accent, pulau is pronounced pula…( in baku Malay) and not as in Johor Riau accent “pule” (which means also) . The English word “Island” is spelt differently but pronounced differently – either they don’t know how to spell or to pronounce. In the SMC days, we pronounced it as “East- Land” which defined as a land mass surrounded by water. If it is engulfed by three quarter water, it is known as Peninsula and in the SMC days, it is easy to rember by spelling it as “Penis Ular”. If it is 50% covered by water , it is the beach head or the water front of course. . Pulau also means to boycott, ostracize ( make some o ne an ostrich??) , discriminate, alienate or “islandise (UK) or “islandize” (US) if there is such a word. The English don’t conceptualize this word from the island but from other sources. It may be derived from the situation of a boy crying in the cot. Their parents are so fed up and just make “don’t know only” and leave the boy in the cot, that is, to boycott

May be we can continue speculate, hypothesize, or theorize the origin of the name of the islands in Trengganu. Why leave it only to Charles Darwin to speculate the origin of you and I from the monkey up the trees. As to Pulau Manis, may be it was planted with lots pokok kayu manis or the Tok Nyadat made the sweetest nissang . Alternatively, the girls on this island are all very sweet - manis, manis belaka. But it seems tha tin Trengganu, the girls from Pulau Rusa are more sweet and fair skinned since the heavy shade of the trees and vegetation had kept them out of the sun.

What about Pulau Sekati. – Perhaps lots of duck were reared there especially the itek sekati. On the other hand, may be the inhabitants of the island had in fact weighted the island. How did they do that ? Well, I have a theory on that, namely, the same way as Abu Nawas in Baghdad measured the centre of the earth. He poke a stick/pole on the ground and declared the location as the centre of the earth. And he challenged those who did not believe him to measure to the north, south, east and west …and reconfirm that they are equidistance from his pole. So, the burden of proof is on the challengers. It may be done by him years ago in Baghdad but he is right even today - as the centre of the world now! So what did the people of the One Catty Island did was to put the weighing machine upside down or down side up so that the whole island is on the weighing pan and see the reading on the weighing dial ..…of course it is one kati. However, to convert the name into metric terminology may be too long …….Pulau Perpuluhan Enam Kilo or Pulau Enam Ratus Gram.

( cont)

It is not sure if the mermaid landed on Pulau Duyung but possibly the ikan Dugong from Johor Baru may have swam up north when raffles took Singapore. But the Dugongs are not as pretty as the mermaids. However, it is for certain that those ladies who wash / bathe in the river wearing the traditional bathing suit (berkemban) revealed part of their busty top and well shaped body clad in wet batik which resembles the mermaids. So, if you want to wash your eyes, don’t have to use any eye lotion but go to the pulau where there are lots of Duyung by the river side.



Pulau Kapas may be derived from the cloud in the distance. Fortunateely, it is named in these modern Malaysia – otherwise it is called Pulau Jerebu. Pulau Gemia. should be translated to the other Non Ganu people as Pulau Setar or Pulau Kundang since that fruit (or their cousin) is called by those names in other places.. Pulau Tenggol may mean the ship anchor island or for that matter it is derived from South America dance which the inhabitants like to do the Tanggo by the Ganu style which is more tongek in its posture and move like the silat penyu.

Pulau Babi may get its name from the wild livestock once found there since the domesticated ones are reared in gazetted area other than Port Dickson. The former state government could have changed it to Jazeera Al Khinzir but to make every understand it and happy, it is transformed to Pulau Bahagia. That’s why the name of the hospital in Tampoi was changed to Hospital Bahagia which makes the outsiders happy but the inhabitants cannot understand why? Pulau Musang does not mean that the men and women there there are very foxy (horny) but mussang in Ganu means that those people are very short tempered and can be easily be “angrified.”

( cont)

Pulau Bidong has gained the international stature and recognition once. It was well known as the transit point for Vietnam refugees onwards to the Amerika. It nearly created an international incidence when a statement was made that Malaysia should “shoo” the refugees on sight but it was reported by the malicious international press as “to shoot the refuges on sight.” Luckily , the refuges don’t stay long there and if not , the island had been changed to “Pulau Viedung”

Redang is pronounced as ray-dung and never rur-dung. . That’s the problem with Malay spelling since we have thrown away the E teleng or E Pepet and left only with E Sepet. Ray Dung Island gets its name from the fish faeces - Sting Ray’s Dung which looks quite different from the Cow Dung. We cannot blame on their wrong pronunciation since George Bush or any of CNN or BBC newsreader also cannot pronounced the infamous Iraq Prison of Abu Gharaib. Even you changed to Ghe -Dang; they still cannot pronounce it since the tongue is not cultured by budu or belacan. There is the real buah redang from pokok redang and the kuih buah redang which is the miniature version of kuih bom with a nut and sesame seeds.

As to the island called Susu Dara, it sound nicer than the Dayang Bunting Island ( langkawi) or Bukit Janda Baik (Pahang) or Kampong Batang Berjuntai (Selangor.) Pulau Susu Dara may be a misnormer since one fact is for sure that a virgin cannot lactate. But that will not encourage many man to “pulau susu dara !!”May be there are lots of special variety pokok Buah Susu (markissa) and buah Bidara (buah mata kucing) grown on the island. So, pula ada banyok buoh ssusu dan buoh ddfara becomes pula susu dara ???

Pulau Kerengge …in the olden days, that’s the place where they tie any naughty children or persons naked to a tree and put lots of red ants nests on them…as a mean of punishment and as a correctional activity. It is so painful when the red ants come out to have a bite or two which makes one cry or dance the merengge rather than sing the Aku Semut Api song repopularised by Felix Agus of AF. The concept of this island as correctional activity is still maintained to the present day. The prisoners who do not know how to swim will not try to escape from this island since they have the idea that this land locked island is like The Alcatraz in front of San Francisco.

modder

PokKu- Is it is human nature to modify things. Car modders is the manifestation of this insatiable urge. Not satisfied with the original design, the car’s body is painted metallic, the shining metal parts are chromed, the tyre and interior blackened, the screen tinted fully pasted with stickers and installed with all accessories. Similarly, not satisfied with the natural original state, the face will be modified with foundation, powder, rouge, lipstick, mascara etc. to look looking like the Chinese wayang actor/actress.

The behaviour of the car modders is the reflection of human modders. The replacement of the car’s head lights with more protruding ones (like the grasshopper eyes) has its interesting parallel. It is the manifestation of the breast modification to fit cup DD size. This is done either by exercising, massaging, use of cream or surgery. Surgery is done to enhance the Silicon Valley and to make it “duduk tercatok”. The owner of the new breast will increase her asset worth and pride. You can replace your head lights if the car accidentally knocked the lamp post as in the unfortunate case of breast cancer that has to remove the original and replace with artificial ones so as to continue to be feminine. . But not just for the sake of modifying it to be big, bigger or biggest even though every one like the biggestest!!

The bonnet of the cars is modified to look sharper and slimmer like Formula One racing cars. They put a tiger or jaguar replica at the top of the bonnet to look sharper. In parallel, the nose job is very commonly done by Asians who have rather flat nose with the “jambu- like” nostril. The drawing by Lat on the nose of his cartoon illustrates this “hidung kemek macam dilenyek steam roll”. The shape of the nose that is allegedly or actually done by some female artists seems smaller and sharper. The newspaper even put the before and after picture for the readers to compare. At times, those who have done the nose job will point fingers and accused others of doing it as well– it takes a “nose job” to catch another “nose job”.

The other part of the car that is modified is the bumper. It was often replace with big bumper – like the old Volvo bumper. It is functional since whoever knocks from behind will crush his own car grill. The car should look big from the back view. They even put the stabilizers on the boot above the big bumper. The Arabs and Eskimos have their big bumpers naturally and those tribes who climb hills are very tonggek. However, there are people who expand their bottom even with special corsets, or padded undergarments or even went for operation to enlarge their bottoms.

The small and slit eyes of the Orientals have also been modified. The eyes are enlarged and the heavy eyelids are removed that considered as a minor surgery like the laser use correction of the eyes. As to the stomach, it is slimmed by surgery and extraction of the hardened fats (liposuction)... What about big ears, like Princes Charles? Or Tok Gajah of Pahang? It has to be trimmed to make it smaller. But Saddam Hussein was too much to completely modify the ears of Iraq’s football players who lost in the Olympic match.

They like to change the grill of the car with that of the bigger luxurious car. Similarly, one can modify the teeth by enduring the braises for years. It is rather painful when the braises are tightened, though but you have a modified set of teeth. (Or is it the original set up before you r mother gave you the soother to suck at the early age. Those with physically big mouth will have the surgery to make it smaller to looks cuter. Sometimes, the size of the mouth is associated with the other mouth – which can be embarrassing to have it too big. On the other hand, the big mouth and big lips can be an asset – as valuable as the big breast. There are artists with big mouth, big lips, big nostrils, etc. who do not modify their special features but capitalized on it as their assets to become popular and identified it.

We have talk about the modification – the main modder being the female who did it for the sake of beauty. However, there are car modders who prefer better car performance Kancil engine with the six stroke engine of Jaguar. What is then the man desire to modify on him ….well, may be to modify it to the piston of equivalent large tractor engine as recently demonstrated by one adventurous Thailand’s Cabinet Minister!!

massage

PokKu – Your blog’s message was on massage. The traditional massage is an art by itself. Usually, the proper and complete massage is performed for three days after the isya prayer. The “massagee” has to wear the sarung in the “cawat” (loin cloth) fashion and lay on his stomach. It is not polite to be stark naked bottoms up to the masseur. The first day massage is to soften your muscles/ body – melembutkan urat. It is done rather gently with help of the special massage oil i.e. minyak urat (which is different from minyak mengurat @ minyak senyonyong). The second night is for the real massage. Armed with the seasoned thumb, fingers, elbow and even the heels, the masseur goes for the targeted areas - urat belikat, urat kuat, urat mereh and even urat keting, etc. The masseur and massagee stayed in a room and you can hear the occasional ouuchhh....oohhh…aaahhhh of the masagee punctuated by the cough and urp..urrp...urrp…( burping) of the masseur. The masseur burped because there is banyak angin in the body of the massagee. The “ hang over” that the massagee has to suffer on next day is so painful – feeling not able to lift your body. The final day massage is to rehabilitate your sore muscles ( memperbetulkan urat) and the massage is done at “ medium” level. After that , you feel your body very light – ringan badan and be ready for any thing – even for the third or fourth wife !!

Besides the herbal jamus, the post natal massage is a must among the traditionally minded woman ( or even modern woman nowadays). It will revitalize the body by slimming of the fat tummy, lifting of the uterus ( sekak perut) and re tightening the overstretched vital muscles. The prenatal stomach massage ( lenggang perut – swinging of the tummy) is performed to check the position of the baby. The main instrument used is the VCE scanner ( VCE = Virgin Chicken Egg Scanner ) is which is heavily “jampied” ( dijampi oleh Mak Bidan) . It can detect the abnormalities of the baby or its ejection seat position. If it is bridged , it can be carefully massage to be realigned to avoid any caesarian birth.

Another well known traditional massage is the bone specialist masseur – the bomoh patah. They are very useful in cases of simple or compound bone fracture. He will massage the fractured region which can be very painful and even lead one to urinate. What is important, he can fix the fracture without using the plaster of Paris. However, the main “ pantang” is not to drink young coconut water which can make the bone rapuh ( brittle) and susceptible to another fracture. There is some bomoh patah who does it like playing the video game – in fact, more like playing the voodoo game. He will use the chicken feet as a media to massage and realign your broken bone. There is another bomoh patah who used the third party – their sahabat jin ( genie) who will do it for him It can be done by remote control from other locations – and the fracture or slip disc will get cured. It may sound strange but you have to really experience it to believe it.

The most popular traditional massage is the specialized massage to the vital part of male anatomy. That is to maintain its rigidity, lengthen the time or to overcome the EDS (Extreme Dead Shoot (Malay terminology) or the Erectile Deficiency Syndrome( English terminology) This special massage will start from the waist and then the legs/thighs; and finally zero down to the target area i.e. pubic region , scrotum, testis, shaft and the head itself. No details will be given here since it is a trade secret and was patented ( patent pending No. PTM – 010- 987 ). You have to experience it yourself or ask Pok Od about it. One basic question that comes to the dark side of one’s mind- how can it be massaged without awaking it. Well, if it is the case of EDS, it will not rise to interfere with the masseur. However, if it is for maintenance or for long lasting purpose, how to avoid it from interfering with the masseurs hands. The massage applied very hard to certain region which create the pain thus preventing it from waking up to interfere with the masseur. Imagine the pain it inflict when the scrotum is being squeezed hard and the head being pinched - it is no pleasure at all but very painful indeed.

(P.S. My granduncle was a tukang urut/bomoh patah and my grand auntie was a famous bidan. The information above are non fictional. I don’t massage the facts and figures except that at times I cannot resist the temptation to tickle it a bit. )

jalur

PokKu – I was told that the Father of Independence did not like the Colonial masters and wanted to be away from the British. So, he looked further west – the United States. That how we get the present design of Jalur Gemilang. Its name also sound similar The Old Glory as compared to The Stripes of Glory. Another story I heard is the National Monument – Tugu Peringatan. It was designed by the American after the Iwo Jima Monument and the human statues looked very American. However, it was claimed to be modeled after some one from Kedah who was a student in US and working part time at the Malaysian Embassy in Washington DC. These are the two unconfirmed stories and some one who knows can verify or deny it. Besides knowing what the various parts of the flags signify, some qualified historians can tell the actual origin of the Jalur Gemilang and not to leave to speculation. It should be like the national anthem “Negara Ku” whose melody, if I am not mistaken again, was based on the song Terang Bulan. It may have a humble beginning but we should respect it as our history. What is important as Malaysian, we should not only be satisfied with the glorious past (satu jaluran sejarah Malaysia yang gemilang), the jaluran sejarah has to be made cemerlang and terbilang di dunia today and tomorrow.

( cont.)Perhaps, if we go to the UN headquarters or any international organizations, we can see that there are three countries with similar looking flag, namely, a developed country - the United States, a developing country- Malaysia and an underdeveloped country- Liberia. The Liberian flag has the red and white stripes but in the canton, it is only one big star. The US flag has numerous small stars in the canton according to the number of states (excluding Puerto Rico and Iraq). We are familiar with Malaysian flag with the presence of the yellow crescent. So, don’t be mistaken Malaysian flag with other Nation’s flag. A friend of mine once went to the FAO in Rome and wanted to be photographed in front of the Malaysian flag which was put on the pole with other nation’s flag. When he came home, he realized that it was the Liberian flag in his background !!

( cont.) The rising of the flag need some skill especially on timing. It should stop when the flag reached the top of the pole at the exact end of the national anthem. To the inexperienced flag raiser, it is hard time trying to adjust the timing. It may reach prematurely or it had to jump to the top. I was not a scout master but was the flag raiser and after some times it become automatic.

Kimma had reported on the improper covering of half naked model by the e Malaysian flag. On the other hand, the model or the magazine may counter report that the Mamak shops are the flag on using the waiter’s songkok – who are either Indonesian or Bangles waiters! Perhaps, some one may also report that Mr. Lee Jee Sun , the veteran 61 years old swimmer, was waving the Malaysian flags while not properly dressed – wearing only the swimming trunk.