Derumo

Sunday, January 07, 2007

NASI DAGANG

Tok Ku,

I suppose there is a perfectly logical explanation for your Nasi Dagang problem. Generally, there are two types of Nasi Dagang available in the East Coast, namely, Nasi Dagang Kelantan (NDK) and Nasi Dagang Trengganu. (NDT) There are two distinct features. The Kelantan version has dark red plus white rice due to partial polishing of the glutinous rice and the gravy is rather thick (using nyor gula) and sweet (using gula putih). On the other hand, the Nasi Dagang Trengganu uses the white glutinous rice mixed with normal rice in certain ratio (secret recipe) and the gravy is rather yellowish and not sweet. I suppose you took the Trengganu Nasi (glutinous plus white rice) and the Kelantan Gravy (sweet gravy). On the other hand, when in Primula you took the full Trengganu version (rice & gravy). If you were in Kota Baru, they will serve you the full Kelantan version. (Dark red rice & sweet gravy). Of course, you and I prefer the better Trengganu version with Original Recipe. The nasi dagang is now being modified where the acar timun mentah is added to it now instead of using only the old yellow cucumber cooked with the gravy. I prefer the acar to accompany it since sometimes, it neutralize the fishy (hanyir) taste of the tuna fish. The tuna fish is sometimes boiled separately (rebus and not singang with asam garam lengkuas) which explained its level of hanyirness and it is put into the gravy “on the rock”.

It is the same with nasi beriyani – it should be both the beriyani gravy but the beriyani rice. Beriyani rice is much nicer in taste since it is the long grain and expensive type of rice known as Bhasmathi rice or the Malay just called it Beras Mati (literally the Dead Rice). So, the next time you order for the beriyani make sure you take the beriyani rice and beriyani gravy. If not it is not so nice since you’re taking the beriyani gravy (plus meat) but not a berani rice (takut rice). By the way, there seems to be a third version of the nasi dagang. My encounter with the third kind of nasi dagang is in KL. The red glutinous rice was just boiled (tanok) in the normal way and it did not undergo the “arong” process and the nasi dagang rice is soft (lembek) and stick to one another. The gravy and tuna fish is cooked with lots of chili padi (lada kecik /ladi API) and of course it is damn hot and that’s the time you wish that it should be sweet. After some inquiry with the kitchen of the stall , I discovered it was cooked by a Negori Chef who stated that “ nasi dagang lauk lomak cili api pun sodaap…..I told him that it is not Nasi Dagang and it should be called “ Nasi Semenda” ( Semenda= Dagang ??) Since it is very very “podeh “

As to the road sign, the Trenganunized version should be written as “Pusak Banndo” ; “ Kuatang “ ; “ Pula Ghedang” ;”Paso Keda Payang”; “Tamang Sah Banndo “ and the Majeleh Banndorang Kuale Ganu Kite should approve it.

RAYA HAJI

Tok Ku - Eid Adha Mubarak

I participated in this year Qurban. One Kedah –Kelantan bull for seven of us in the family. We bought it from an oil palm estate. It was rather cheap at RM 4.50 per kilogram live weight for 270 kilo costing RM 1,300 inclusive of slaughter, lapah & transport. After the solat Eid, we went down to the field. The bull is tied to a tree. When the slaughtering team gets the bull on the ground but it was getting wild. Some team member got scared and the bull ran away. Fortunately, there are spare bulls and cow around. If not, I will get the bull shit or the cow dung. I was not daring enough to slit the bull’s throat but just hold the held head and read my niat. The semi pro butcher did the slaughtering and the blood shoot out into the dig drain. The bull did a few “heritage kicks” (tending pusaka) and then laid still.

Then, it was deskinned and degutted and cut into the four quarters which is hung up to be deboned (dilapah). The deskinning (lapah kulit) is very tricky since you have to forgo the meat leaving it stuck to the skin so as not to spoil the hide. This deliberate left over meat is known as the love meat (daging kasih) and I suppose it is called such since it is left there for the love of the hide. It is different from other love meat – the meaty body parts with which you make love. The worst task to be given is to clean the large intestine (perut besar @ perut tuala) and perut tembusu (small intestine) where the unprocessed bullshit or cow dung has to be cleaned. Water is not sufficient to take away the stench but the lime water (kapur) has to be used. The deboned meat is cut into smaller pieces and packed in one kati or one kilo plastic bags to be distributed to the needy. The choice parts of the balls and the tails since they are suppose to have aphrodisiac value.

The bones are good for making soup with still lots of meat sticking to it since those who deboned are amateurs. Nevertheless, when you have cut and slice so much of meat and even you yourself start smelling like meat, you may have no appetite to slurp the bone soup unless it is a special ox tail or testicles plus the tender projectile soup (termed as torpedo soup probably due to its shape or due to its effect on the one who consume it.

If I am no mistaken , qurban is not compulsory for the Hajj ( please correct me if I am wrong here) On the other hand , the dam ( penalty) is obligatory if you break the major hajj rules. The famous penalty is that one has to slaughter a camel that is imposed if you‘re to have sex during the ihram. That’s why the male and female potential hajis and hajjah are kept separate. It is not that many do not want to share a room with the wife (besides it may cost a load of Riyals) but they fear factor of Dam Unta is there. When the period of forbidden sex is over, usually there is one room kept free and some couples may sheepishly get the keys from the manager and try to get some barakah in the Holy land. It is not easy to get such barakah in Mecca especially during the hajj season.

I did my qurban during my hajj. I did not do it through the modern method or buying coupon but by traditional way. During the stay in Mina, we had lots of free time especially after the stoning the devils and shaving bald. Rather than drinking the Arab Tea Tarik which is in fact more of D-I-Y TEA ENJUT - you ‘re given in cup of hot water in a plastic cup , a tea bag to jerk and a few packets of sugar and powder milk and then you start jiggling. I took a taxi with one of the hajji guides and went to the nearest Arab village. There was a place where the Arab Badawi was selling the animals for Qurban sacrifice. The price for each sheep is just one third of the coupon qurban price and so I bought three sheep. Here the guide who speaks Arabic is very helpful in bargaining and that’s how we got it rather cheap. One thing I observed the bargaining by the Arabs is so furious - which is more like quarrelling. I saw one camel on a Nissan pick up beeping away. We try to bargain for it but it was too expansive and we left the camel with its tears literally and physically running down the eyes. There were a number of the qurban butchers around and we can ask them to help with the slaughtering for a small tip. In fact, they prefer the DIY qurban but I was too scared to do it fearing that the sheep may run away half way during the process. Nevertheless, the butcher helped to slaughter it single handedly for all the three sheep. The sheep did not struggle much but seems to be willing to be sacrificed and the camel when not offered for sacrifice having tears in its eyes. These are two things which my grand mother used to tell me stories of her Mecca days that I saw with my own eyes. Masya Allah…..

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

50 Merdeka

MERDEKA 50

TokKu- “Four hundred and Fifty years of Enslavement and Fifty years of independence” or “ 450 tahun dijajah (1511-1957) dan 50 tahun merdeka ( 1957-2007)” . The word “MERDEKA” is related to slavery – to free the slave is “untuk merdeheka hamba abdi”. Since it is not Arabic (istiqhlal) or English (Independence), perhaps it was of Sanskrit (e.g mentera, mendeka etc. ???) However, this word alien to Malaya before 1957. You can listen to the old folk in the Malayan Film Units pronouncing it “mengdeka or mendeka …or merdeheka”….and among the children, who were so happy to get the free cinema tickets, they shouted mentega (butter) …not to make fun of it but that’s the nearest words they knew ( butter). Those from East Coast pronounced it with a slight twist as Man Deko – referring Mat Deraman Bin Umor whose hand is slightly bent and legs slightly limping ( Deko) after his unfortunate accident on his old Honda Cub 50 trying to cross the wooden kampong bridge. Perhaps, some may have the spirit of Hang Jebat and pronounce it as “menderhaka.” That was true during the colonial days that we had menderhaka to the British in order to get our Merdeka. At least, we know that Malaysia was derived from Malay Asia – used long ago by the British, and Japanese. Why Malaysia is pronounced with a silent “H”or “Y” ( ME-LEY- SYIA) . And not as it is spelt MA- LAI- SEE-A. Perhaps, it sound more Anglicized or on the other hand, if pronounced in the original spelt version in Chinese dialect, it means different thing.

Ghana had achieved her independence in the same year . But being on the street of Accra , it is felt 25 years behind Malaysia. Or would we like to be in the streets of Palestine which is not so pristine. Or in the city Baghdad which is far away from our dad in the US or in the mountains of Kabul so that we can get of a car and have a ball (car-ball)with the students there. At least , we have this Malaysia – like it or not . The residual of the vision 2020 may require a concave or convex glass, or a contact lense or the simple eye muscle surgery. Unfortunately , those with cataract will have to be operated and replaced it with a hard convex . One can be constructively critical of the progress so far ( muhasabah) but when we look at ourself , our children and our grandchildren , they are alright now. The grass is always greener on the other side but nowadays , it can be a plastic artificial turf grass which is good for playing hockey but not for the cow to graze unless it is given a brown sunglass. So far so good…But qua sera ,sera…..for the next 50 years of Malaysian Independence ( 2056) with globalization which reduce the independence into more dependency , global warming from Green House Gas of the Kotor Convention which is not rectified by the mighty US, the planet carrying capacity is stretched to the brim, and increasing moral decay which the West call it progress ( frog rest) . Let the jalur gemilang remain with the 14 red and white stripes and not added to become 50 stripes with the moon eclipsed .

Monday, December 18, 2006

MERDEKA 50

TokKu- “Four hundred and Fifty years of Enslavement and Fifty years of independence” or “ 450 tahun dijajah (1511-1957) dan 50 tahun merdeka ( 1957-2007)” . The word “MERDEKA” is related to slavery – to free the slave is “untuk merdeheka hamba abdi”. Since it is not Arabic (istiqhlal) or English (Independence), perhaps it was of Sanskrit (e.g mentera, mendeka etc. ???) However, this word alien to Malaya before 1957. You can listen to the old folk in the Malayan Film Units pronouncing it “mengdeka or mendeka …or merdeheka”….and among the children, who were so happy to get the free cinema tickets, they shouted mentega (butter) …not to make fun of it but that’s the nearest words they knew ( butter). Those from East Coast pronounced it with a slight twist as Man Deko – referring Mat Deraman Bin Umor whose hand is slightly bent and legs slightly limping ( Deko) after his unfortunate accident on his old Honda Cub 50 trying to cross the wooden kampong bridge. Perhaps, some may have the spirit of Hang Jebat and pronounce it as “menderhaka.” That was true during the colonial days that we had menderhaka to the British in order to get our Merdeka. At least, we know that Malaysia was derived from Malay Asia – used long ago by the British, and Japanese. Why Malaysia is pronounced with a silent “H”or “Y” ( ME-LEY- SYIA) . And not as it is spelt MA- LAI- SEE-A. Perhaps, it sound more Anglicized or on the other hand, if pronounced in the original spelt version in Chinese dialect, it means different thing.

Ghana had achieved her independence in the same year . But being on the street of Accra , it is felt 25 years behind Malaysia. Or would we like to be in the streets of Palestine which is not so pristine. Or in the city Baghdad which is far away from our dad in the US or in the mountains of Kabul so that we can get of a car and have a ball (car-ball)with the students there. At least , we have this Malaysia – like it or not . The residual of the vision 2020 may require a concave or convex glass, or a contact lense or the simple eye muscle surgery. Unfortunately , those with cataract will have to be operated and replaced it with a hard convex . One can be constructively critical of the progress so far ( muhasabah) but when we look at ourself , our children and our grandchildren , they are alright now. The grass is always greener on the other side but nowadays , it can be a plastic artificial turf grass which is good for playing hockey but not for the cow to graze unless it is given a brown sunglass. So far so good…But qua sera ,sera…..for the next 50 years of Malaysian Independence ( 2056) with globalization which reduce the independence into more dependency , global warming from Green House Gas of the Kotor Convention which is not rectified by the mighty US, the planet carrying capacity is stretched to the brim, and increasing moral decay which the West call it progress ( frog rest) . Let the jalur gemilang remain with the 14 red and white stripes and not added to become 50 stripes with the moon eclipsed .

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Hello Again from Derumo

hello again,

being rather busy lately .
will try to keep up this Blog .
bye.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Public Spiking on Public Speaking

TokKu – The quality of public speaking of the House of Commons (Citizen Hall) were getting the public spiking recently in terms the lack of substance and rude language used. Pubic speaking can also be defined as a situation where one is speaking to the public and the public also start speaking among themselves – initially with soft whispering and then it grow into louder murmuring until they shout at one another drowning the main speaker. If it’s a dinner speech, the sound of the fork and spoons clanging are more audible than the main speaker’s voice. If you‘re in that kind of public speaking, better end your speech to save the embarrassment on both sides. The best public speaker is the traditional medicine peddler (penjual obat) who delivers eloquent lectures to sell the “obat kuat” (traditional aphrodisiac). Every one is very attentive to hear his next words and next joke which are very entertaining. However, the penjual obat may not a good orator since he cannot sway the crowd’s emotion to buy his medicine.

The parliamentary debate is not being televised live but only shown on the close circuit TV at the lobby or in the cafeteria. Some cannot go into the main hall due to the limited seats available at the officers section or public gallery. Others like to wonder around the lobby to wait for their topic to be debated during the question time or the first, second or third readings. There are those who like to stay at the cafeteria where the discussion can be more interesting over a cup of the tarik. Previously, there was only one common canteen for the parliamentarian, government officers, reporters and public gallery. But, now the parliamentarian has special rooms with drinks and snacks. Probably, it follows the principle of the separation of powers among the legislative, executive and judiciary to the separation of rooms between the representatives and the constituencies. It used to be just loud speaker to broadcast the debate outside the hall but with the modern technology, there is the CCTV that shows the happening in the hall. Sometimes, you can hear the ringing of the bell that is calling the MPs to come into the hall mainly due to short of quorum at voting time or when issue of attendance is brought by concerned members that reminds of the schooldays when the bell rang. However, the full attendance can be seen during important occasion the opening session when the three components of the legislation sat together – the King, the House of Commons and the Senate - similar to the State of the Union address in the congress. It is fully televised on one Friday afternoon budget speech and it will have the whole country wide audience listening carefully what tax will be abolished or when will the Value Added Tax (VAT) will be imposed. Lately, short video clips from the CCTV are being slotted in the TV news. Even it is only a short video clip, it gets lots of public spiking and probably that’s the reason why the session is not fully televised.
The public views on the standards of pubic speaking are that some of them don’t know how to speak. Even though, they know to speak but were very ambiguous on the issues discussed. However, the standards had improved some what – from the days of merapu to a more school debate and even occasional bantering and quarrelling. The opposition is also very vocal and knowledgeable and more are professionals in their field and they can talk. It should be noted that in parliamentary speaking there is a strategy. Don’t underestimate that the one who talk a lot and talk nonsense is not that clever. Strategically, he is clever in consuming the limited time, thus giving no chance to the other side to speak. One can comprehend this in the context of football or hockey game. When a team is winning, the players will play around by keeping, dribbling or kicking the ball to one another, thus denying the opponents from having control of the ball. Remember the hockey game between Malaysia and Pakistan in the recent Commonwealth Game which frustrated India. This tactic serves very important strategic functions but to the uninitiated it may seen like monkeying around. (We should not resort to derogatory name calling since the same argument can be applied in reverse - that it takes a thief to catch a thief; and it takes a monkey to identify another monkey!) Of course, it is a truism that there are no speakers in the parliament except for one, the Speaker. The others are all the representatives of the respective constituencies who are only known by their constituencies such as Yang Berhormat Ipoh Timur, Yang Berhormat Kepala Batas or Yang berhormat Pekan. Therefore, the naming of the constituencies has to be carefully chosen so that there will never be Yang Berhormat Batang Berjuntai or Yang Berhormat Nonokan.
Sometimes, there is the tongue lashing (bertikam lidah) which is a serious verbal combat. It is not as bad as the Japanese, Taiwan or Indian Parliamentary session. You can see fist fight, kick boxing, hair pulling and the throwing of the shoes to the other member across the floor. The term “to cross the floor” has a different meaning in Japan where it is not the government crossing to the opposition but only the shoes of the opposition crossed the floor to join the Government side. As to the hair pulling, that’s the ladies unarmed combat. When the kampung ladies quarrel and fight, it may come to the hair pulling and trying to strip the opponent’s sarong. The one with the sarong down will be definitely be the loser since she will ran away embarrassed. One picture is worth one millions words and one punch or kick worth millions CD pictures since action speaks louder than words. No such things had ever happened in our parliament. Two opposing members may be at each other throats in the debate but later, they will belanja each other “teh tarik” and “cucuk udang” in the cafetaria.
There is such thing as the parliamentary privileges. The members can say anything in the House and no legal action can be taken. If the same accusations were to be uttered outside the parliament, they can be sued and we often heard they were daring each other to repeat it outside. However, some are in the habit of using rough and rude words. Often, they were asked to withdraw and deleted form the Hansard. Everything was recorded in the Hansard which as still kept as a tradition but with tape recording. Video recording, it should opt for the modern technology-perhaps digitized Hansard. In fact, in keeping with the modern the TV had shown the video clips of the MPs where we have some insight into it. Other wise, the limited public gallery may be occupied by the school children or the rombongan from the remote kampungs. When we were in form sixth in the sixties, the visit to the parliament’s public gallery was a big event with high expectations. But it fell flat and that impression still stays on until now. Parliament speaking is not public speaking since they are speaking to fellow MPs. The MPs should improve on their delivery of the ideas. If not, they should be whipped by the “Chief Whip”, by the Minister of Parliament and the Back Benchers Club chairman to upgrade and improve their oratory ability. I wonder what the translation the term “Chief Whip” in Malay language – may be it is “Ketua Cemati.”

In the British parliament in Westminster, the MPs were given only a long leather bench with no table. The microphone is hanging from the ceiling like the theatre setting. Only in tabling serious budget etc, that the leader of the government or the opposition were given the rostrum. Other back benchers were expected to talk off the cuff but definitely, they do not talk off the topics. Those in the House of Lords are with knowledge and wisdom in the debate. Those in the House of Commons (Citizen Hall) are the representative of the people. So, it is what the people choose – one who can talk, one who cannot talk, one who can shout etc. It is the people choice and one cannot blame the representatives as such as they were the chosen one. Even though one is of high academic qualifications and high oratory skill, if he is not chosen by the people, he is not in there. The people representatives have to fight for the people needs. I remember meeting an intellectual MPs but he has not the people touch and not public friendly at all. Those type should be in the judiciary or remained in the academia and not in the legislative or peoples representative.
On the other hand, behind the MPs are the government officers who loyally take the notes and pass notes and other during the oral question or wrap up session. . It is not surprising to see that new Ministers, Deputy or Parliamentary Secretary who goes to answer the question time with 10 -15 officers trailing him. On the other hand, the real veteran Minister will be confident on their own – some has the philosophy that if there is a question, there must be an answer. It is interesting to be the Honourable Minister but at question time – especially the supplementary question is the difficult ones to answer – that really test your mastery of the issues. It is not that easy to spot questions – but the experienced well seasoned ones will know the question and will give the right witty answers. In the early days, when the kampong people were not very familiar with the English word “parliament”. The House of Parliament was wrongly transliterated as “Rumah Pak Leman”. The MPs now should be more professional parliamentarian since gone are the days when the debate is like chatting at “Rumah Pak Leman.”

Friday, April 07, 2006

Caring for the Corals

TokKu-It is not only the man in Trengganu who destroys the corals. The action of other men elsewhere in the world on the environment which upset the weather and marine ecology did more damage to the corals. If the sea temperature were to increase or decrease, the coral will “demang panas” or “demang selsema” which eventually also destroy them. The warm stream El Nino and La Nina do affect the corals in large volume. If there are lots of nutrients in the area, the algae will grow and invade the area to expel the coral. The change in the salinity of the sea water will also upset the coral. There is the brackish water fish but no brackish water coral. Therefore, those whose indiscriminate actions affect the weather, the climate and the salinity of the sea are largely responsible for the coral destruction as well. Undeniably, the Trengganu man may destroy some, but not that much as others. It is suggested that the tourist should use transparent bottom boat to see the beautiful corals. The boat should have a big flat bottom since the passenger don’t sit down but lie down in the snorkeling position (meniarap) In addition, put some wild tiger shark which has been genetically modified to specialize in eating family jewels and big bosoms in the area to prevent unauthorized diving, snorkeling or scuba-ing

One of the expensive fish in Sabah is the sea chicken fish (ayam laut). It is different from the Trengganu ayang laut @ Ikan Jebong - some may call it as James Bond fish (as in Ikang Mata Besor that was renamed Ikang Uji Rashid). Why is it so expensive? This fish lives among the corals and it is difficult to catch them. You have to catch one by one with line and hook and most of the time your hook will get stuck among the corals. Therefore, one has to be a good hooker to catch lots of them. That’s why its price is subjected to the law of supply and demand. The next time try to order for the sea chicken fish and it will definitely have to taste very nice since it costs RM 200 per kilogramme. If not, stick with cheaper Trengganu ikang ayang lauk ( jebong) and imagine that it is Sabah “Ikan Ayam Laut”

The modern accessories are very sophisticated. Like the oxygen tank, breathing apparatus, snorkel mask etc are part of the accessories. The flipper is rightly called “kaki itek.” which helped to accelerate the movement in the water. For catching fish, there are the underwater sonar sounding, close circuit cameras etc. that can detect the fish. On the other hand, the traditional fishing method in Trengganu was more interesting and we should appreciate them since without them, there were no ikang aya or ikang tambang sisik or beluru, no kepok lekor, no kepok keping and no budu for Trengganu. Besides the fishing boat and the net (perahu payang and pukat tangkul, tarik, bubu, hanyut, etc), the key personnel in the fishing industry then was the “diving specialist” @ juru selam. They were able to stay for a long time under water and listen for large shoal of fish. They can differentiate the different fish that produce different sounds. They memorized the sea location in their mind to assist in the navigation. Some believed that the juru selam made friend with the sea “Befrienders” – penunggu laut @hantu laut @ Jin laut whom they contact to know where they are lots of fish. The presence of the animistic belief in the olden days had led to the festivals like the “Main Pantai” (playing with the beach or if spelt wrongly, it means playing with the bitch), semoh kepala kuba and Buang Ancok (to play with the toy boat except it does not need any screws). Note that the word ancak in Brunei means a very vulgar sex action. The juru selam dived down the sea and stay there for some time to listen to the fishes. The hearing of the juru selam may be a bit difficult on land since I remember that my grandfather was real “rhinoceros deaf”. I like to play with the “ peti @ kotok kelauk”– some sort of fisherman’s brief case / wooden tool box slung across with a string across their shoulder ( like the make up begs slung by air hostess). In this peti/kotok were placed the fishing accessories as well as the rokok daun and tembakau kayar and in one secret compartment is the money earned for the fishing trip. Their special skill as diving specialist will earn him higher percentage share as compared to the Jeragang (skipper) or the Awak Awak (the crew) but not as much as the Tuang Perahu (boat owner) who has the controlling interest of the fishing enterprise. Sometimes, the fish caught were sold to the boat owner at below the par value even though the market price is definitely much higher. Even though the juruselam and other were able to catch big fish but the amount they earn is only as a small fish or even as a finglings.

The beach attire is some thing to be discussed. On a Nudist Beach, any one wearing any small piece of clothing is considered as very indecent since everyone is in their birthday suits. The picture of the lady wearing the flipper was scantily clad in two- piece bikini where the rubber flipper at her foot is definitely bigger than their tops and the goggles on her forehead are larger than the g-string. She was actually admiring the big long tube of the snorkel next to her cheeks with wild imaginations !. In Copa Cabaña or Ipinama beaches of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, the girls don’t wear bikinis but they wear dental floss. It is nice to see them play beach volley balls, as there are 12 pairs big round things that one can admire. However, in Malaysia, there should be beach attire etiquette where the bikini should be partly covered with light batik kemban. Of course, it cannot be worn to the Parliament as the alternative Malaysian dress!! In the private beaches, one can dressed like bitches but in public beaches, one have to conform to some decency – perlu ada ketatasusilaan bukan nya ketunasusilaan. It s rather odd for very pious Malaysian men who seldom see the exposed white thigh and bulging barest breast since it will cause the Embarrassing 21 Gun Salute at the Battle of the Bulge even though wearing Bermuda short. The Tua man likes to wear Bermuda short to feel young – at least that’s in the Bermuda short is always young. On the other hand, the traditional attire in Papua New Guinea, namely the Long Sheath made of dried gourd is more suitable since it can conceal its size and the positions (up or down). That’s precisely why I don’t like to be in the swimming pool where there are lots of people swimming since my imagination will always go wild. I always imagine - there are those who took bath once a week, those who don’t cebuk, those who have not completely end the monthly period, those with kudis and skin diseases, those with VDs, and even those who don’t bother to go to the toilet to piss, and the pool water become cloudy (keroh) and on diving in, you swallow some of this swimming pool water. Of course, it tastes a bit more saltish with those additional ingredients………

Monday, April 03, 2006

Gandeng Piung

GANDENG PIUNG

TokKu- The phrase “ Main dam dua, tiga papang” reminds us of the lyrics from the song “Ganu Kite” by Saleng . The VO is PokKu’s husky and sexy voice which of course, sounds better than Ramli Abu Bakar, Jamaluddin Alias or Patrick Teoh. Besides CU,MCU,ICU,4U2C, (angle of the camera shots), the SX ( sound effects) should also include the tune of “ Ulit Mayang” or “Jong Jong Inai” with a light blend of Monsoon wind and waves. Of course, with modern technology, the OX (Odor Effect or Kesan Bau) can also be incorporated . It should be the smell of the Ikang Kering in the air (mild busuk kohong type) plus the smelly salty (hanyir)water in the sea. If the film is shown in the Cinemaplex , the mild ikang kering smell and the wet ikang hanyir smell should be placed in the air condition system. That’s complete the full script of the film “ Piung Ganu Kena Gandeng” which can be shown in the National Geographic.

The word gandeng seems specific to Trengganuspeak. It is the action “ to hit with a stick” (e.g. budak itu kena gandeng dengan kayu) The art of gandeng can be seen in the Indian Panchala Payat silat which use a long stick as the fighting implement as shown in the Tamil movies. This word is very close to another word “ngendeng” meaning “ to ask for something in a very subtle and indirect manner”. When some one is eating durians, you go near him on the pretext of some other business but with the expectation of being offered to eat the durian, You immediately accept it even though it is only a chickenly invitation (ajak ayam). It is more like “ lobbying” – to ask others subtly, indirectly or in most cases with monetary inducements to do something. The US President has to be expansively lobbied to meet the Prime Minister of a small Third World country. This give rise to an oldest profession in the Capitol Hill of Washington D.C. – the lobbyist. The lobbyist may form a company and call itself the Non Governmental Organization (NGO) and will be fully financed by vested interest. The lobbyist or NGOs are to some extent the “ commercial mercenaries” - like to soldiers of fortune which is very lucrative business in battle and war. So, the lobbyist is a professional job which should be called in Malay language as “Pengendeng” and if they claimed as lobbying consultants , they should be called “ Juru Perunding Pengending” . They are similar to the Chef who can cook meat floss as “ Juru Serunding” or the expert flutist like Kenny G as” Juru Seruling”.

Perhaps this unique word “gandeng” may originate from the English language. Possibly, the colonial Mat Salleh was angry with the followers of local rebels (Datuk Merah, Tok Janggut or Haji Abdul Rahman) and asked the Sepoy soldiers and local budok to “gun them” down (i.e. shoot them). However, the local budok were not given the gun but had to use the long stick as a weapon. So, they caught the followers of the rebel and hit them hard even to their death with the long stick. Then, they reported to the Mat Salleh Police officer, “ Tabek Tuang, nok riput doh gandeng orang jahat, sapa doh nok mapuh pung, tabek Tuang”.

Talking about turtle as vanishing specie is the favourite environmentalist topic. Some Japanese turtles were able to mutate into the “Ninja Turtle” with the help of the Sifu Rat. The Malaysian turtle may mutate into the “ Silat Turtle” which is a version of silat in Kuala Berang with Pok Mat as their Tok Dekor. ( Tok Dekor in Trengganuspeak is not an Interior Decorator but a silat exponent). The diminishing turtle is mainly due to the fish trawling – pukat rimau, pukat gajah and even pukat dinosaur as well as tasty salty eggs which once ended in Kedai Payang. The Malays are very respectful of the animal and plants and it may originate from pre-Islamic animistic origin. The Jungle Etiquette of the Malays is very protective and conservative of the flora , fauna and wild animals. The belief is that one should not cut the trees unnecessarily or else one wills kena tego ( reprimanded) to be demang or suffer a severe sickness. The bomoh will chase the guardian (penunngu) back to the jungle – “ yang laut ,balik kelaut; yang bukit. Balik ke bukit; yang hutan balik ke hutan.” But the commercialization and the value of the forest products had change lots of things. The balak trade is very lucrative and the clearing of the forest will result in the destruction of the biodiversity.

The turtle may be fast depleting but not that we have eaten all the telor piung. May be those that got killed in the seas had resulted in less turtle coming up to lay eggs. The testing of the atomic and nuclear weapons in the deep sea will kill the ocean and sea creatures,. It was illegal to bomb the fish but the bombing test by the countries in the deep sea trenches in the Pacific or Atlantic seems to be alright . These countries should be brought to trial to the International Court of Justice under the Laws of the Sea at The Hague, Holland for sea destruction. However, there is one country that refused to sign it since their Generals and soldiers were often discovered committing such despicable acts. They did not want to sign the Kyoto Convention on Environment since they are the main polluter and contaminator of the world environment. They want to be above the international law and in legal terms , only the sovereign or King / Queens are above the law and they are the King of the World.

The practice of killing the whales or clubbing the young seals was well practiced by those in Japan, Europe and North America and Canada. The whale was killed for the large quantity of sperm. The latest Medical report found that the male testes is a good source of stem cells and it can be coaxed to mutate to other vital cells of human vital organs- the heart, the liver, the lung. Soon, the human male specie may face the problem of the Great Big Whale. When he is checked in for an operations and given general anesthetic, he needs to check whether both of the testes are stil intact. That’s how the male whale feel – not only loosing one testes but of loosing their life altogether. On the other hand, they should be caught and using an advance technique to masturbate their sperm out , they may be more than willing to do so and enjoy it too ( as in the case of humans at their early age or making a donation at the sperm bank) .

On the other hand , the Western NGOs are fast to take up and champion the issue of the Third World Country .These western NGOs should also highlight all the Western and American history who not only killed the animals but also did kill human beings which may not consider then as full human. They killed lots of Red Indians in Americas.. They killed lots of Aztec Indian in South Americas. They disintegrated the aborigines of Australia and the Maoris of New Zealand . The Indian were killed on the Black Hole of Calcutta or at Amritsa and the Zulus were eliminated by the thousands in South Africa. The Chinese were too many to deal with and it was better to give them opium to be addicted . The same strategy was used against the Vietnamese with napalm and yellow agent besides heavy bombing. The European ( who blamed it to the Germans ) was responsible for the holocaust which eliminated millions. The best example was the dropping of the Atomic Bomb in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan that killed thousand Japanese. The West will say apologetically, lets forget about the past but the forefathers were responsible then. But now they are actively accusing Malaysia of clearing the jungles killing the Orangutans and the hunting ground for the Orang Penans. The West @ OrangBarat strongly felt that the Orangutans and Orang Penan should be left on their own to roam the jungle and should not be given the opportunity to walk the streets of KL or to stay the campus of Malaysian Universities or to go to London or Washington except they were bring as show piece for exhibition in Enviromentalist seminars to get more funds for the NGOs. The West was romantising of becoming the Robinson Crusoe and they wanted the Third World to be their servant Fridays. They want us to keep our jungles so that it will absorb the carbon emission that their industries and automobiles are emitting for free. It seems tto be our duty to support them on that environment. If not, we are accused of destroying the environment that will destroy the whole world.

The Sabahan don’t kill their turtles. The turtle eggs are on sale at the wet market. However, the law stated to sell or buy or keep the turtle eggs is an offense with very heavy punishment if convicted. However, if you go to the Sandakan market, the “turtle touts” will whisper to you “ Boss nak telor penyu ( like the pimp who whisper to the prospective client ). Usually , I will be polite to refuse them by answering jokingly , “Tak mau lah Boss, saya dah ada dua biji”. This whispering system had been used in the fish auction system in the fish market. The Malaysian rubber auction system is also by the whispering system. Even in the stock market and commodity market like the CBOT now had been converted to whisper system via the clicking of the computer keyboard. Gone are the days of the open outcry that we see in the P Ramlee’s film ( Tiga Abduls) when P. Ramlee auctioned Ahmad Nesfu for a few dinars and dirhams. Besides the whispering, the turtle touts also show the hand signal – the meeting thumb and the index finger which form the alphabet “O” or number zero “0”, that’s the standard sign when everything is OK. That’s the sign when the food is delicious in the Mediterranean, French or Italian Restorante. But don’t ever do that at Jalan Chow Kit Road or Jalan Alor or at cheap sleazy hotels since it means a different thing altogether. If two Lorries were to meet each other on the road, one lorry driver may show that “ O” sign with flashing lights, it means that there is a road block in front . The O sign represents the Malaysian police badge . However, with development of camera /hand phones, the hand signals seem to be phased off. They send the professional team known as Tonto to survey and tail the presence of the Police and JPJ. They drive powerful vehicles and literally can bump of the police patrol of the road. In fact , the Tonto is more daring than the Lone Ranger.

In the Philippines, the turtles are very important politically. It was once reported that during the election under President Marcos, he was able to obtain the full votes from an island which is only inhabited by turtles. This is the “ turn turtle” votes is where the postal votes will help to turn the results of the election. There were once even unfounded allegations, accusations and counter allegations that the Trengganu turtles were also able to vote. Nevertheless , it is what the British called the process of the swing of the pendulum .Once the Conservative is in power and the when the swing on the other side , the Labour will com to power. As in Trengganu , it is the swing of the pendulum which resulted the changing colours from blue to green to blue…what is important is that the colour of people future should also be bright and not bleak.